"Ani." Obi-Wan murmurs, rubbing a hand up and down Anakin's back as he often did when the boy had nightmares, when the world and the force was too much, too bright, too intense, when he didn't have the words for what he was seeing and feeling. Never before in his life had Obi-Wan felt quite so unprepared- any initiate from the Temple would have the right training, the right vocabulary. More than once the boy had (and caused) migraines so intense that Obi-Wan, even in all his grief, hated Qui-Gon for doing this to him, to them.
Those darker nights passed in time. As ever the boy's wellbeing and education, his training to priority over Obi-Wan's feelings and that simply was how he moved forward. Bury himself in the code and in Anakin's growth. In less than four years it became something done out of affection for this brilliant, patient, curious child rather than a promise made to a dead man.
Not that Anakin ever asked.
Not that Obi-Wan ever said.
Here and now he feels once again adrift- uncertain what it is Anakin needs from him. Five years? How long has he been here? What happened back home that prompted such agonized loathing? What could he have possibly said?
What's done is done, unfortunately, and all they have is the here and now. A familiar, calloused hand smooths through Anakin's hair, and Obi-Wan makes no motion to step away for the sake of propriety. His Padawan (a knight, no longer his) is deeply distraught and requires comfort. While unaccustomed to filling that need- to be needed is...deeply gratifying in no small way. A feeling unbecoming of a newly promoted master, but again- in this place? It matters less. "Ani. Have you done harm in this world? Used your powers to selfishly influence the minds of others, to cut down those unable to protect themselves? I very much doubt it."
no subject
Those darker nights passed in time. As ever the boy's wellbeing and education, his training to priority over Obi-Wan's feelings and that simply was how he moved forward. Bury himself in the code and in Anakin's growth. In less than four years it became something done out of affection for this brilliant, patient, curious child rather than a promise made to a dead man.
Not that Anakin ever asked.
Not that Obi-Wan ever said.
Here and now he feels once again adrift- uncertain what it is Anakin needs from him. Five years? How long has he been here? What happened back home that prompted such agonized loathing? What could he have possibly said?
What's done is done, unfortunately, and all they have is the here and now. A familiar, calloused hand smooths through Anakin's hair, and Obi-Wan makes no motion to step away for the sake of propriety. His Padawan (a knight, no longer his) is deeply distraught and requires comfort. While unaccustomed to filling that need- to be needed is...deeply gratifying in no small way. A feeling unbecoming of a newly promoted master, but again- in this place? It matters less. "Ani. Have you done harm in this world? Used your powers to selfishly influence the minds of others, to cut down those unable to protect themselves? I very much doubt it."