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abraxasooc2022-03-20 08:35 am
abraxasmods) wrote in abraxasooc2022-03-20 08:35 am
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TEST DRIVE MEME #6
TEST DRIVE MEME
Welcome to the sixth test drive meme for Abraxas! This meme is run a little bit differently than most in that you'll be asked to choose one of the three different arrival scenarios below for your character to take. If you have any questions about this mechanic or anything else related to the TDM, please take a look at the questions below or ask one of your own under the Questions header below. For general game questions please still use the FAQ.
Our Setting pages are full of information on the world of Abraxas, and an overview of the story so far can be found on our Game History page! Anything on that page - including information about the Horizon and the Singularity - can be assumed to be told to newcomers after they arrive, no matter which faction they are received in. For more information on Ambrose and the apprentice mages, Marlo, and Rowan, please see our NPCs page.
You can also find answers to questions asked on previous TDMs in their respective questions threads— 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.
Additionally, one change for this TDM is that characters who arrive in SOLVUNN will be given a charm necklace carved of bone depicting a butterfly with multiple wings. This image is meant to represent one of the Old Gods, Endrborrin, the Goddess of Renewal. Newly arrived characters in Solvunn who visibly wear this charm will find their reception in the community to be especially welcoming, even beyond how Solvunn normally treats the recently Summoned. Characters might receive unexpected invitations from strangers to have a meal or a drink, find doors to neighboring homes open to them, and discover eager faces wanting to help them settle in. It might even give them access to small discounts when purchasing items. Essentially, the people of Solvunn see those who wear the charm as accepting of their practices and traditions, and will treat them accordingly. In fact, they may treat them a bit too warmly - but that's simply how the commune works, of course! They look after their own.
Arrival
You awaken suspended in the abyss, silent darkness stretching out in all directions. If you try to yell, you'll find that the sound doesn't carry. If you try to move, you'll find it's impossible to tell whether or not you're actually getting anywhere. If you reach for an item you were carrying last time you remember being awake, your hand will only touch bare skin.
You're naked and floating helplessly through the void, and what little air you have in your lungs is running out.
There's a pinprick of light that almost looks like a faraway star but as it grows it becomes clear that it's actually quite close. Through the opening you can see a bright room, but it's hard to make out any individual objects, as if you're looking from beneath rippling water.
Scenario One: Welcome to Thorne
A hand plunges through and you realize water is just what it is. Whether you take hold of the hand or not it will grab you and yank you up through the surface, lifting you out until you're sprawled on solid ground. Once you catch your breath, you can get a better look at the surroundings: tall trees and even taller stone pillars surround the platform you're laying on. Behind you is an ornate fountain, the base of which is so deep and so dark you might be compelled to scramble away from it lest it suck you back in to that endless abyss. Ahead of you are the walls of a large castle with several tall towers reaching up towards the sky.
If you had any powers, they feel unusually weak. Attempts to use magic or enhanced strength or powers of any sort fizzle out without any effect, but they don't feel completely gone, either.
Set into an indent on a marble slab behind the fountain is a card bearing the image of one of the arcana.
An apprentice mage - the one whose hand lifted you out of the fountain - brushes the water off on their robes and runs back to join a group of three others, who all stare intently at a mage with highly decorated robes and a large, heavy book. He peers up at you for a moment and starts flipping through the book.
"One moment," he says, not bothering to look up from the tome. He looks tired. "I am Ambrose Rhett, the High Mage of the Kingdom of Thorne. We’ll explain everything in a moment, but for now, please calm down. You’re completely fine."
Regardless of your response, he keeps flipping through the pages, until he stops on one specific passage, stares at it for a moment, and then sighs with relief:
"Finally!"
Ambrose's expression brightens, relief visible across his features. He waves one of the apprentices over with a fine silk tunic, pants, and some basic sandals and with a wave of his hand they reshape to fit you perfectly.
"Oh, thank heavens," he says, closing the book and approaching you with a sort of worn-out relief. “I was beginning to believe we’d never get it exactly right.”
Now that he's not hunching over the book, he doesn't seem quite so stuffy and inapproachable. The apprentices all seem to visibly relax, and the one that handed you the tunic stops to take the tarot card down from the marble slab. If you show any curiosity about the card, they'll let you take a longer look, but won't let you touch it.
"Please, come with me," he says, motioning for you to follow him towards the castle. "As promised, my pupils will explain your current situation. And, ah - if you had any magic of your own, or other special abilities you can't access right now, fear not, they'll return within the week. The summoning takes a lot out of you."
One of the apprentices steps forward and rattles on and on about the castle, Thorne itself, the names of a bunch of royals and nobles, and of course, your reason for being here. The Kingdom and the world itself is in great peril, and tales of your exploits have reached far and wide across universes. If asked about these exploits, the apprentice will simply smile and shrug. The High Mage was happy to see you and that's good enough.
Once inside the castle you're taken to the North Wing, which has been set up as living quarters for you and your fellow newcomers. There are four people to a room, but each generously-sized bed has opaque curtains that can be drawn around it. You can meet your roommates here and discuss your shared situation (those who were previously brought in may have a great deal of information to tell you), or you can wander around and meet the others.
There's also a dining hall stocked with a rotating 24/7 buffet in celebration of the new honored guests. Somehow, your very favorite food is part of the rotation (or at least an attempted recreation of it given the limited technology available to the Thorneans). The town surrounding the castle is all abuzz as well, with most shops and services willing to give free samples of their wares to the new arrivals.
You may also notice that your sign is embroidered on your tunic: the same image you saw on the card from before with the name of the sign itself beneath it. If you ask the castle residents, they'll tell you a little bit about your sign (and will mostly stick to the positives, although some might point out the negatives).
Last (and, if you ask anyone else in the castle, least) there is a worn stone staircase leading underground to the dungeon. You can go there, if you wish, but all powers are restricted in the dungeons and most of the cells stand empty.
Scenario Two: Welcome to the Free Cities
You find yourself pulled from the water by a pair of strong hands. Dry warmth hits you at once as you're set on a warm hard floor. As your senses return you realize you're on dull ruddy stone and surrounded by strangers. Men and women in unfamiliar uniforms of brown and red leather stand in a semi-circle around a small pool of water. The very pool you were just pulled from. The water is still now, rimmed in pale gold tiles with odd symbols etched into them. Across it on the far side is a raised pedestal with a card propped on it. The card bears an arcana symbol.
You feel weak. Drained. Any abilities or magical powers you have seem far away and impossible to access. You're in what looks like a cave lit by dozens and dozens of torches set into the wall. There's no furniture or decoration to be seen besides the pool. It's almost uncomfortably warm and there's the sound of rushing wind somewhere in the distance. Flickering shadows obscure the faces of the guards. A robed woman stands off to the side, looking at you anxiously and then to the authoritative woman standing before you. She's grinning, dressed in a fancier uniform than the others. There's a sword at her hip. A guard covers you with a blanket and returns to their place in the semi-circle.
The woman with the sword gives a nod of approval and smiles warmly.
"Sorry about the circumstances."
She gives you a good hard look before standing again.
"Take a minute, catch your breath, you've had quite a shock. Take it nice and easy. I'm Prime Minister Marlo Reiner and you're in The Free Cities. That nice lady over there will explain everything to you and get you settled." A nod to the robed woman off to the side.
Marlo Reiner steps back and the robed mage approaches to help you up.
"Come with me, please." She brings you out of the cave through a corridor that angles upwards until you emerge in what looks like some kind of storage facility. Shelves of wooden boxes and cloth bags line them, unidentifiable parts of what might be machines are tucked into corners and propped against shelving units. "This is one of the Free Cities' outposts," the mage explains as she leads you. "We're honored to have you with us, I'm sure you have many questions but please save them. You need to recover!"
You'll learn you're in the Cadens Desert Outpost 003, a military outpost on the outskirts of Cadens city. You're brought to a room in the barracks that's been prepared. Each barracks room is rather sparse and utilitarian. Six simple beds set against the wall, three on each side of the room, each with a trunk at the foot of it. You're told the world is in a delicate and dangerous times and you're needed to help. You're important, you're told, and they're very grateful you're here.
You're asked to stay close for the time being, but to make yourself at home. The outpost is more a proper military base than the name implies, with full facilities. The barracks have a communal bathing room at the end of the hall, with curtains that can be pulled around the individual raised round tubs for privacy. There's a mess hall that has food available from sun up till a few hours after sundown. You're even encouraged to make use of the training grounds, if you'd like, with non-lethal training weapons available for use and obstacle courses set up. And the city of Cadens is only a couple of hours away by wagon - though you're asked initially to please be back at the outpost within a few hours of the sun going down.
For your own safety.
Scenario Three: Welcome to Solvunn
The feeling of floating is the first sense that comes to you as the edges of unconsciousness start to ebb. Sunlight filters through the rippling water as you open your eyes, making you squint. Before you have the chance to panic and inhale, firm hands grasp your arms and pull you to the surface of the water. Moments later, soft warmth is wrapped around your shoulders as you're guided on unsteady legs out of a pool of water. You're lowered to the soft grass. Men and women in simple garments with lavish embroidery stand by, waiting with bated breath, glancing seriously at an old man in an ornate robe. He holds an old leather-bound book in one hand and in the other is a card bearing an arcana symbol. His eyes move quickly over the page, and he mumbles idly to himself.
Any strength you may have possessed feels as though it has slipped through your fingers. Any abilities or magical powers you have don't come to the surface no matter how hard you try. You're in a grassy clearing in the midst of a circle of large stone slabs stacked to look like doorways. In the middle is the same glimmering pool you were just pulled from. A gentle breeze blows through, carrying the scent of flowers and herbs from an ornately decorated altar set off in front of one of the stone doorways. The mage closes his book and steps out of the water, addressing a matronly old woman. Behind her are two younger people, a rough-looking man, and a meek young girl, both of whom are also watching the mage.
“I detect no ill will from the gods, it seems we've been blessed with success.” Those that had gathered all breathe a sigh of relief and now seem pleased.
The old woman smiles and steps forward, offering to take your hands and help you stand. “Any gift the gods give us is one we will happily take. I'm certain you have many questions, and they will all be answered in time. For now, rest and know you will be taken care of.”
She pats the top of your hand and steps away with a serene smile, letting one of the others come forward with some clothes that seem to fit you perfectly. Once you're dressed, someone approaches to drape a delicate-looking charm depicting a butterfly with too many wings on a thin chain over your neck. The rough-looking man from before steps forward once you're decent and motions with his head outside of the stone circle. His speech is informal, his consonants harsh.
“Hold your horses, I can see all those questions coming about! Rowan March, at your service. I'm one of the council members of Solvunn. There's a lot to discuss, but it's best talked about over a hot meal.” He leads you to a horse-drawn carriage and helps you up into the back. He talks the entire ride to the settlement.
You find out you are in the Primary Settlement, the first of three that make up Solvunn's great territory. The settlement is situated between two lakes and is humming with life. You're brought to the center of town and escorted to an apartment above one of the establishments in town. Rowan explains that the living conditions are temporary if you'd like them to be, that local families would also be happy to host you in their home. That there are others like you who have also taken up residence within the three settlements. You're told that the world hangs upon the brink of disaster and that there are those in this world that are happy to see it fall to ruin with their meddling.
You're important. The gods have graced them with your presence. They're delighted you're here. Welcome to Solvunn.
Everything you need has been provided in this humble apartment, and if it hasn't, there are shops that line the streets and a marketplace in the center of town. Owners of some establishments or stalls are more than happy to give out samples or barter with your time for their goods. Babysitting can be a very lucrative business. You're told of the other settlements, that they'd like you to stay here for now, but if you can find a family to host you, the secondary and tertiary settlements are best to get to with an escort.
There are tales of travelers visiting the secondary settlement without invitation disappearing without a trace. The gods are as hungry as they are protective, young traveler.
You’ll find that there are more than enough activities to throw yourself into to better settle into your new life in Solvunn. Work is done in the first part of the day so that families can spend the rest of it together in leisure and work on their crafts - whatever those may be. For those children who are not of school age, they need nannies or storytellers, and there’s always a gaggle of them running about unsupervised. Families with livestock can always take a spare hand, especially since farms are so spread out, they have a tendency to wander. Whatever skills you may possess can always be of use to the community or to honor the gods.
If any of these options are no good for your lifestyle, the main roads between settlements can always use a bit of monster clean-up… just make sure you don’t go alone.
How many slots are open?
Please check the Taken page for how many player, franchise, and canon slots are available. Activity check will be processed before applications open, so the count may change between now and then. Existing players can apply for a second character without restriction.
How do I choose a scenario for my character?
Pick whichever situation appeals to you most. Which faction your character is drawn into has nothing to do with their personal morality, beliefs, or how highly they regard themselves and their own accomplishments. Anyone can be put into any one of the situations.
Can I try out more than one scenario?
You can! But please keep in mind that only the one you eventually choose can be game canon, if you decide to keep any of your TDM threads.
What happens if my character refuses to comply with the NPCs?
They will be forgiven for their moment of panic or anger if they have one, and the faction leaders will try to calm them and persuade them further. If they put up too much of a fight and/or start actively attacking anyone, they will be warned once that everyone is willing to put them back in the well where they came from (see below), and if they continue to fight they will make good on that promise.
My character intends on causing a lot of trouble (destroying parts of the cities, murdering the NPCs, etc.), what would happen to them?
Characters who make too much trouble for the mages and other NPCs would be thrown back in the well (which will mean drowning in the void, not returning home). Brawling with other PCs and causing minor damage is fine and will be greeted with a cranky attitude and intervention from various NPC guards, and there will be plenty of opportunity for destruction and murder later, but for now the Abraxans have no desire to keep huge liabilities around.
I want to wildcard a prompt or use one of the prompts from an earlier TDM that isn't on this one (eg. the library), can I do that?
Yes, in terms of the settings. As Thorne is no longer imprisoning any newcomers, that option is no longer applicable.
Is the power loss for characters permanent?
No, but it does take a week or so for their powers to be back in full, and certain powers (determined on a case-by-case basis) may require nerfs. If your character has world-breaking powers, please discuss with the mods what modifications may be necessary.
Can my character leave the bounds of the faction?
In Thorne, characters can leave the castle but not the city. In Cadens, they can take a trip from the outpost to the city. In Solvunn, they can explore the entirety of the Primary Settlement.
Can my character eventually change factions?
Yes. While the faction borders are currently closed, there will opportunities in the future for characters to relocate. For the time being, they are stuck where they are.
How much will my choice of scenario affect my character's plot later on?
This choice will determine where your character initially lives as well as the bias of the information they receive from NPCs (although other PCs can and most likely will give it to them a bit more straight). This decision - and every other major decision you make in game! - will also be used to flavor some mod surprises that will be coming down the line.
Don't get too anxious about this choice, though; this is just one choice you'll get to make in a game that has a lot of them, and every character in every scenario can work their way towards many, many individual goals and outcomes. You're not locking yourself out of anything in the future via the choice you made on the TDM. It will primarily impact the immediate future with the far-reaching effects being up to each player.
Are TDM threads mandatory for my application?
No, you may use other samples, but we encourage you to post to the TDM and get a feel for this game and its mechanics before you join. If you do not have a TDM thread you will still need to choose one of the three scenarios on your application.
What if I haven't settled on a sign yet?
You can ignore sign-related prompts if you're undecided (or try out different signs in different threads).
Can my character go to the Horizon?
First time visitors to the Horizon must be taken there by other characters, through either shared meditation or a physical journey to the Singularity, and all first-timers experience memory loss. For the purposes of the TDM, we suggest against using the Horizon.
What about making use of the network?
Much like Horizon they would need to be introduced to it by another PC, as no NPCs would be aware of the network or be able to access it. Because of this we would advise against using this mechanic for TDM top-levels.
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That is, before he heard Kell's voice.
For half a moment of shocking clarity, the thought crosses his mind that he's finally lost it; he's well and truly gone off the deep end, imagining things in the strangest of places. The next half-moment is fear, raw and visceral, of what he might find when he turns-- or, rather, what he's already convinced he won't.
The flame sputters out. Heart in his throat, Rhy turns.
He stares.
Unthinking, his hand flies to his chest, palm pressed against the scar beneath his shirt, feeling the frantic pounding of his own pathetic pulse and-- Nothing else. No matching rhythm beside it. No surprise or confusion or fear or joy except his own. The fluttering bird that's become his heart throws itself against the cage of his ribs, tries to crawl up his throat and break free, faster and faster. Rhy's breath catches, sticks, unable to make it past the increasingly painful lump suddenly lodged in his throat. His vision swims, and for a strange, drawn-out moment, he isn't sure if it's due to the tears or if he's about to pass out from the shock.
His fingers crumple the front of his own shirt, nails digging into the skin beneath. Nothing. Nothing.
A vision? A spell? A dream?
It is impossibly cruel. He looks so real.
"...Kell?" Rhy whispers, choking on the name, stumbling over the reality that this can't be who it seems. Blinking hard, he tries to clear his eyes and whatever awful figment in his mind conjured up this trick.
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For a heartbeat, he's afraid to even move, afraid that his brother's image will dissolve into nothing on the harsh wind, but he takes a breath, blinks, and Rhy is still there looking just as solid as before Kell has closed his eyes. So he makes a step, then another. Not sprinting to the railing like a madman only for the fear that even breathing louder would shatter the illusion. And he wants it to last. Even if it's not true.
"It's really me, Rhy."
Really? Kell hopes it's not some cruel joke at the expense of them both. He half expects his fingers to grasp air when he finally crosses the balcony and reaches for Rhy's hand. They don't. His brother's hand is there, solid and real.
"As Hasari," he whispers before catching himself. It's pure instinct. Of course, nothing happens. He can't do anything without his magic. Not even heal such a minor burn. "I'm sorry."
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If Lila could be pulled from that dark pool by mages' hands, why not Kell? The truth is, Rhy had never even dared to hope. (And besides, Lila had disappeared scant weeks later, and he can't bear the thought of losing Kell.) All of that is far too much to think about right now, though. Too much to hold inside his heart, too much to worry over when he's spent too many sleepless nights already smothered by loneliness and fear.
Kell reaches for him. Kell. Touches him. Solid, fingers cool, slender and pale against his dark skin, a familiar juxtaposition. They take his hand. He couldn't care less that the healing spell doesn't work.
With a gasp like a long-drowning man breaking the surface at last, Rhy surges forward, grabbing Kell around the shoulders and throwing himself into his brother's arms. The sobs wrack his whole body, threatening to buckle his knees, as he crushes himself to Kell's chest hard enough to make them both ache.
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But a thought claws itself to the surface, when Kell finally lets himself breathe, when he lets himself think it might as well last, lets himself do anything else than simply hold his brother as close as he can. A thought unwanted, and it drags waves of guilt with it. It's his fault that Rhy so shaken. Why exactly he doesn't know yet, but feels with a grave certainty it must be his fault. What else could that be?
"How long?"
His own voice sounds hoarse to him. It doesn't even surprise him that he too is on the verge of tears.
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"Am I horrible bloody bastard?" he asks. "You should have told those stupid mages here to hurry the fuck up and summon me quicker then."
It is unfair for him to say it like this, but he can't help it, or else he'll descend into a sobbing pile of misery himself. Four months... bloody hell!
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"You're... all right? You aren't hurt? I felt--"
Rhy shakes his head, still buried against Kell, unable to look up. One hand slides down from Kell's shoulder, and he traps it flat between their chests, pressed over Kell's heart.
"I was so afraid. I thought you might have--"
He can't even force the word through his teeth, breath shaky and catching in his throat.
I thought you were dead.
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dead
He thought he lost you too. He wasn't that far from dying. They dragged him out from that frigid pond bloody and broken. There's still a residual pain in his wrists, healed now, but his body remembers. Does he want to worry Rhy with it? No, absolutely not.
"I'm fine."
A pause, long and tortured. Kell doesn't want to voice that one thing that hangs between them. The connection that should be here but isn't. The lack of stings more then he'd ever thought it would.
"I didn't."
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"I can't feel it anymore."
He doesn't have to elaborate on what it is.
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He pushes back at the rising panic. Something does, whatever it is, he's grateful for it, he's just ... worried what might be the price of it.
"I'm still here."
Could he say anything more useless? Probably not. He just doesn't want to give his panic a voice.
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He knows that the newly Summoned's magic is weak, but magic that strong-- he doesn't think it's possible that he wouldn't feel anything at all. No. It's the Singularity. He'd thought, going along with Ronan's theory, that it was simply too strong, its magic drowning Kell's out, and he'd clung to that explanation for months because if nothing else it gave him hope that his inability to feel Kell didn't automatically mean Kell was gone forever.
Now, Kell is right here (a large part of him still can't quite believe it), but the feeling is still gone. The Singularity is still drowning him out. Or maybe it's something else. Maybe during the Summoning, while Kell was hurt, while Rhy was dying--
They'd carved Kell out of him. Willingly or not. They'd picked apart the bond, pulled Rhy through ripped open and bound him to the heart of this world instead of that of his brother.
Rhy shivers, loosening his grip. He pulls back just enough to wipe his eyes with the heel of his palm, finally looking up. His fingers brush Kell's cheek.
"You are."
Maybe he shouldn't be happy. It means Kell is trapped here just like he is. But, selfishly, Rhy can't find it in himself to even pretend.
A flicker of a smile tugs his lips. His head is still spinning.
"You always said you wanted to travel somewhere new."
Here, Kell is free. Including from him.
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Rhy's smile smooths over the ripples of panic that were again starting to fight their way up his throat. Still, Kell is not so fast to smile himself. He... their bond was a necessity, born out of desperation, and many times he wasn't really sure how he thought about. Oh, he'd do the same thing all over again, a million times more if he had to. That was never the question.
The thing was, as time passed, Kell started to depend on it existing. He couldn't really sort out what he thought about it when it was there, but now, with it gone, he has no trouble tell how he feels. Annoyed, disappointed and betrayed. Like he was deprived of something that was rightfully his. Even if it, technically, wasn't.
"But you must tell me everything about the magic."
It's a cowardly change of subject. It's also something he's really interested in. So, maybe not the worst way to weasel his way out of an uncomfortable topic.
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Rhy's teasing is as weak and fleeting as his smile. He touches Kell's arm, nudging him back gently. Since he'd first embraced Kell, Rhy has kept a hand on him in some way, and he seems loath to give that up now, fingertips brushing his elbow as they turn and walk.
"Let's go inside. I'll tell you as much as I can."
He leads Kell past the doorway and down the steps, through the adjacent corridor and out into a wide, many-windowed hallway decorated with vases and potted plants. There are some benches at regular intervals set into the wide windows, and Rhy pulls him into one of these, collapsing with a sigh. The relief feels so fragile, and like it's taking so much of his effort to hold onto it, that even his legs seem unsteady.
Maybe it's not just relief. Maybe it's fear too, and shock, and the overwhelming uncertainty of what it means that Kell is next to him but the feeling of something missing remains, that place where the bond should have been, the magic that had kept him warm. It makes seeing Kell again an incongruous, confusing experience, at once joyful and surreal.
In truth, Rhy has no desire to talk to Kell about his magic. Not long ago, he might have bragged and preened, eager to show off, but now--
They sit, and he takes Kell's hand, and he rests his head against Kell's shoulder. He's still half-convinced someone is going to walk by and ask him why he's talking to himself, that Kell is a figment born of the bottle of wine he'd had for breakfast or the sleepless night before.
"Where did you go?" he asks softly after a minute. Another change of subject. Rhy doesn't mean here; he means back home, when Kell ran. When his own family had chased him away, and Rhy had been unable to help. It had been stupid of Kell, and he'd somewhat hated his brother for it, but Rhy understands. He just doesn't know what happened. Neither had Lila. Perhaps Kell can finally answer some of his questions.
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"Somewhere very stupid."
Somewhere he was dragged from here. Somewhere where he almost died. And why? Because the second time he did what someone asked him to. In full defiance this time of what was expected of him, just because he wanted, and again, it was a horrible, catastrophic mistake.
And why? Why, fucking, indeed?! But not even the anger, still fresh and hot, does nothing to chase away the bone-chilling cold that comes with the memory of the icy steel closing around his throat cutting him away from his magic. It is only the weight of Rhy's head on his shoulder, the warmth of his hand in Kell's that drags Kell back to the present, before he spirals into panic again.
"I was angry," he spits out. Words he doesn't want to say. Hadn't he have all the right to be? After the royal family has finally shown their true colors, no, not the family, just the king and queen. No matter what he did, it was never going to be enough for them. They took his whole life, and still it wasn't enough. "But it didn't make it less stupid."
And that too was true. He might have been right, but he also been used, and put the only one person he has ever truly, without a shred of doubt, cared about in literal mortal danger by doing so. It all made sense, but it still was stupid, and Kell can't stop feeling simultaneously awfully guilty and furious about it.
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Some less charitable part of him is glad to hear Kell admit it had been stupid. Another part of him understands he was right to be angry and can't blame him for it. He still feels awful for not being able to somehow do more.
Rhy squeezes his brother's hand, cheek against his shoulder.
"The last thing I remember before being pulled through to this world," he confesses softly. "Was a horrible pain. I was terrified you were being hurt. Or worse. You're really all right?"
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There's no real reason for his mind to be so hung up on this. Not right now. Though, no, there is. If there's anything he can fixate on, other then the memory of the pain, the fear, and the helplessness, he is going to latch onto it like a man drowning.
"I was," As much as Kell doesn't want to go into details here, it feels not only wrong, but pountless to lie to his brother about a thing they both felt. Last time their bond was working.
"But I'm fine now," he adds immediately. "They patched me up when they fished me out of this sorry excuse of a birdbath."
As fine as he can be without magic.
"Are you?"
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Patched up, as he said. Which means he really had been badly hurt, but--
Rhy lets it go, for now. He squeezes Kell's hand.
"I missed you."
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Maybe later, some other time. If this place still exist. If it doesn't turn to be just that, a fever dream of his mind trying to escape pain. If it remains a reality. Maybe then.
"I'm sorry I run away."
He might have had all of right and all the reasons, but it doesn't make it less of a dick move.
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Rhy understands why he did it. He wishes he'd done more, somehow, to convince his parents (their parents, it used to be, but Rhy is beginning to realize he's been naive to think Kell still considers them such).
It still hurts that Kell had run, even from him.
"...but you would have come back, right? You planned to come back?"
He lifts his head at last, looking up at Kell's face.
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He wouldn't have been half as battered if he didn't try to come back. It was the reason he fought so hard, the reason why he didn't give up even when his life was seeping of out along with his blood. Even if it meant destroying his own body in attempt to get out.
The pain in his wrists shouldn't be there anymore and yet it lingers in his joints and muscles like a strange memento, a ghost memory, of what he's capable of when he really wants something.
"And now I am here."
Was the summoning magic stronger than the Osaron's collar, or was it his will that finally broke him free and send to follow his brother, summoning or not. Does it matter in the end? Probably. If they ever intended to come back home. Does he care? Kell has trouble finding it in himself to care about coming back to Red London. As long as his brother is safe, nothing else enough for him to truly care anymore. Some cruel part of him doesn't even care about the world ending. As long as his brother is safe, all else can go and fucking burn. Maybe he will change his mind, maybe he can start caring again. Right now, he's just tired, tired of carrying the weight for everyone when they get to live their lives and he doesn't.
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Something had stopped him, then. Something had kept Kell from him. It is at once a terrifying thought and a relief. And immediately, Rhy feels guilty for the relief, knowing that something awful had happened, that Kell is avoiding the details and keeps trying to change the subject. He shouldn't feel anything but horror, and yet just the knowledge that Kell had tried, had wanted to come home even though he'd left, is a comfort despite everything else.
Rhy squeezes his brother's hand again in both of his.
"You needn't worry about anything else right now. I know it's... a lot to take in."
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Kell pulls his brother closer, throwing his other arm, not wanting to free his hand from Rhy's, but needing to feel his presence. The solidity of it, the reassurance he so needs right now. And he shakes, tears streaming down his face, his shoulders trembling in uncontrolled spams, unable to contain all the conflicting feelings that threaten to sink him like a great tide.
"But I do. I always worry, and I always will."
His voice is coarse and shaking, words barely intelligible.
"I can never not worry about you."
Not because his brother tends to get in trouble in ways that Kell many times, and not very charitably, thought of as completely on purpose. Not because he worries about himself half as much. Oddly so, he doesn't. This is always an afterthought. A reflection only after he looked back at the danger he had put himself in and thought oh, this could have ended me. But only because it's Rhy, and it's obvious.
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Rhy only pulls his hand away from Kell's to draw him closer, both arms wrapped around him tight and warm, pressing his brother's face gently into the sanctuary of his shoulder with fingers wrapped around the back of his neck. He kisses the top of Kell's head, leaving his cheek against it.
He must have been so frightened. He must have been hurt so badly. Even if Kell never tells him what happened, Rhy can see the damage it's done, wrought on top of the wounds his own parents had inflicted, the pain he'd brought upon Kell underlying it all.
Kell has taken on burden after burden, trying to carry all that weight alone. He deserves to set it all down. He deserves to be free.
"I know. I'm sorry." The palm of his hand smooths circles into Kell's back, urging him to breathe. "But I'm all right, Kell, really. You do not need to carry me anymore. You needn't live your life afraid for mine. I'm here. We're together. We're alone. There is no one here you have to be anything other than yourself for. You can worry only about yourself this time."
Rhy strokes his hair, voice soft.
"Let it out, brother. Cry as long as you need. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
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Tears burn like acid in his throat, like trails of fire on his face, but he cannot stop them. As if that careful image he has constructed for himself, has just come down crumbling. It's not the pain or the fear that has defeated it, but relief.
Kell knows it is not over home. Somehow, somewhere, Osaron is there wearing Holland's body, intent on feeding its insatiable hunger on the lifeblood of their city. But this knowledge is a dull pain, distant, drowned out by the wave of relief. He feels guilty that the other so clearly wins.
Can this really be true? A place where Rhy has magic, and he has no chains, no obligations? It feels impossible. It must be. Some small, mean part of him wants to throw a snide remark, but for once, he's able to kick it down. Swallow the embarrassment and let his brother hold him for a change.
"You were never a burden to me." Alright, maybe almost able to kick it down. "A menace, yes, a nuisance, many times, but never a burden."
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"I love you too, Kell."
He does not let go until Kell actively tries to move away, holding his brother as long as he wants -- for both their sakes. Slowly growing accustomed to the idea that maybe, possibly, Kell is here. (Trying to ignore the building dread replacing the disbelief, the memory of Lila's disappearance after only a few short weeks. Trying to ignore, as well, the discomforting dissonance of what should have been rekindled but wasn't.) He strokes Kell's hair and hugs him, even when his arms start getting stiff.
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