abraxasooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #13

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TEST DRIVE MEME #13

Test Drive Meme

Welcome to the Test Drive Meme for Abraxas! This meme is run a little bit differently than most in that you'll be asked to choose one of the three different arrival scenarios below for your character to take. If you have any questions about this mechanic or anything else related to the TDM, please take a look at the questions below or ask one of your own under the Questions header below. For general game questions please still use the FAQ.

Below are some links to information you may find useful. Our Setting pages have information about the world itself as well as current events for each nation, while our Game History page outlines the game's story so far.

Setting | Game History | NPCs | Arcana
You can also find answers to questions asked on previous TDMs in their respective questions threads.

The TDM is forward-dated to when the summonings occur in-game (when applications are accepted), at the start of August.

Summoning

You awaken suspended in the abyss, silent darkness stretching out in all directions. If you try to yell, you'll find that the sound doesn't carry. If you try to move, you'll find it's impossible to tell whether or not you're actually getting anywhere. If you reach for an item you were carrying last time you remember being awake, your hand will only touch bare skin.

You're naked and floating helplessly through the void, and what little air you have in your lungs is running out.

There's a pinprick of light that almost looks like a faraway star but as it grows it becomes clear that it's actually quite close. It's hard to make out any individual objects, as if you're looking from beneath rippling water.

A hand plunges through and you realize water is just what it is. Whether you take hold of the hand or not it will grab you and yank you up through the surface, lifting you out until you're sprawled on solid ground - still unclothed.

Arrival

You'll find yourself summoned to one of the following three major nations: the extravagant and magical Kingdom of Thorne, the bustling and advanced Free Cities, or the tightknit and faith-driven rural community of the Solvunn Commune.

If you had any powers, they feel unusually weak. Attempts to use magic or enhanced strength or powers of any sort fizzle out without any effect, but they don't feel completely gone, either. After a week or so, your abilities will return.

When you gather your bearings at last, you look up into a series of unfamiliar faces...and equally unfamiliar surroundings.

Welcome to Thorne

Set into an indent on a marble slab behind the fountain is a card bearing the image of one of the Arcana. An apprentice mage - the one whose hand lifted you out of the fountain - brushes the water off on their robes and runs back to join a group of three others, who all stare intently at another mage with highly decorated robes and a large, heavy book. The man peers up at you for a moment and starts flipping through the book.

"One moment," he says, not bothering to look up from the tome. He looks tired. "I am Ambrose Rhett, the High Mage of the Kingdom of Thorne. We’ll explain everything in a moment, but for now, please calm down. You’re completely fine."

Regardless of your response, he keeps flipping through the pages, until he stops on one specific passage, stares at it for a moment, and then nods, satisfied. "Excellent." He motions for one of the young apprentice mages over. "Settle our guest in, please. I don't have all day."

The apprentice hurries forward with a fine silk tunic, pants, and some basic sandals. With a wave of their hand, the clothes reshape to fit you perfectly. Once you're dressed, the apprentice leads you into the hallways of Castle Thorne, prattling on about the kingdom, names of royals and nobles, and, of course, the reason why you're here: the world itself is in great peril, and tales of your exploits have reached far and wide across universes. If asked about these exploits, the apprentice will simply smile and shrug. The High Mage was happy to see you and that's good enough.

◎ Surroundings

Castle Thorne is where not only royals and members of the court reside, but includes the surrounding city itself. Now in summer, the weather warm and mild. To anyone used to hotter climates, it might even feel somewhat cool. In the distance, you can see snow-covered mountain peaks that are beginning to melt, and the gardens are in bloom. The castle is enchanted to be at a comfortable temperature.

As you walk or look around, you take in some of what's going on around you:

The North Wing, devoted to housing the Summoned, is tightly guarded against outsiders. As one of the Summoned, you're free to come and go. The guards aren't keeping anyone prisoner. They're there to protect you, and they take their jobs seriously.

Apprentices, kitchen staff, guards - everyone seems to be bustling and busy. Though some tension is in the air when locals debate an execution involving the gods in Solvunn or the recent emergence of the Fey, there's also a buzz of excitement from the Crown Sprint - where a noble steed named Summer Eclipse and her rider Maertisa Cassidy were declared this year's winner.

Life in the Castle has chiefly resumed, but the permanent increase in guards indicates a crisis in the past. There are also rumors of unusual rifts and creatures appearing out of nowhere.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the land, Castle Thorne and its surrounding city have much for you to indulge in.

Equestrian Exhibition
Hot on the heels of the extravagant Crown Sprint, Castle Thorne continues the celebration by displaying its finest horses. These include the Haylean Warmblood - bred for Hayle's mountainous cold regions - and the oldest breed in Thorne, the Circinean, named after Thorne's original settlement by Lake Circinus. You can get riding lessons from participants in the Crown Sprint, visit or volunteer to take care of the horses, or help the children who've arrived to take part in smaller pony races. While the children just want to have fun, many hail from noble and aristocratic families, so you find yourself witnessing a certain temperament from their parents...who are significantly more competitive and cutthroat than their kids.

Magic Lessons
Regular magic lessons are held by apprentice mages as part of their training, usually involving learning to cast a small spell. Join if you wish! The spell they will be teaching is conjuring a modest defensive light shield that can protect against a single magical blow. The spell relies on Academic Magic which involves a few words said correctly. You'll likely need a few lessons to grasp it unless you're well-versed in magic already. The class of fresh-faced students means there's a constant bright explosion of light coming from the practice room as the spells fail. It isn't dangerous, but it can be annoying.

Occupying Octopi
Due to the unusual rifts last month, a few octopi have made their way into Castle Thorne. These cephalopods have been spotted lurking in the baths, hiding in pools and lakes, and even taking a dip in the kitchen's water basin. Mages are desperate to catch the loose octopi so that they can return the animals to the ocean. The mages will give you a simple enchanted tracking orb to help locate them, but octopi have a habit of being elusive and squeezing into tight spaces - so retrieving one might take some innovation! Maybe it'll go smoother with a partner?

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in an eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, opens on the first weekend of every month for a total of 3 days. Shortly after arriving, you'll be given a pendant that allows you to travel to and from the portal. In Castle Thorne, the portal is a short walk around the back of the castle. You can enter Nocwich freely and explore what's available in Oleuni Square and Luna. You won't be able to enter Ikorr nor will you be able to exit into another faction's portals. Once there, you're welcome to meet those from other factions, take in the sights, and - if you've come by some money or a generous soul - even make a few small purchases. Inns are available for a fee if you want to stay overnight. Otherwise, you'll need to return home through the portals each day.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready to rest, you're shown to the North Wing, which has been set up as living quarters for you and your fellow newcomers. There are four people to a room, but each generously-sized bed has opaque curtains that can be drawn around it. You can meet your roommates here and discuss your shared situation (those who were previously brought in may have a great deal of information to tell you).

Although you can leave the castle, you can't leave its surrounding city with the exception of entering Nott via portal in order to assist with rebuilding or visiting Nocwich. Borders are especially well-guarded right now due to the recent attacks. Besides, Castle Thorne gives you everything you need: fine clothes, great food and wine, massive libraries, and all the magic and knowledge you could want. Isn't that plenty? You won't be given money as you're provided for, so if you want to do some personal spending later, you'll have to find a job in the city on your own.

Welcome to the Free Cities

Dry warmth hits you at once as you're set on a hard floor of dull ruddy stone. Men and women in unfamiliar uniforms of brown and red leather stand in a semi-circle around a small pool of water - the very pool you were just pulled from. The water is still now, rimmed in pale gold tiles with odd symbols etched into them. Across it is a raised pedestal with a card bearing an Arcana symbol.

A guard covers you with a simple robe and returns to their place in the semi-circle. Before you stands another woman, dressed in a more elaborate and decorated uniform than the others. A sword rests at her hip. She carries an air of authority as she approaches you with a nod and a warm smile. "Sorry about the circumstances. Take a minute, catch your breath. I'm Prime Minister Marlo Reiner and you're in The Free Cities. That nice lady over there will explain everything to you and get you settled."

A robed mage off to the side approaches to help you up. She brings you out of the cave through a corridor that angles upwards until you emerge in what looks like some kind of storage facility. You'll learn you're in the Cadens Desert Outpost 003, a military base on the outskirts of the major city of Cadens. You're told the world is in delicate and dangerous times, and you're needed to help. You're important and they're very grateful you're here.

◎ Surroundings

While you're currently at the outpost just outside of the city proper, Cadens on the whole is a large bustling city. Temperatures are sweltering, and the climate is hot and dry. Even the summer nights are relatively warm. Look to the west and you'll see a long stretch of desert wasteland. This is the infamous Badlands. The soldiers don't recommend going out there unprepared - you're likely to face a slow death to the elements or be eaten. Reaching Cadens is possible by wagon, a trip of about 2 hours each way. You're asked to return by sundown for your own safety... but no one will chase after you if you don't.

You'll be given a military style uniform with your Arcana stitched on it where a formal rank would normally be. As you walk or look around, you take in some of what's going on around you:

Libertas shows signs of having suffered a devastating attack, but the majority of it has been rebuilt including a new garden park memorial that commemorates the lives lost. Chatter has shifted from the fire attacks to the gruesome execution involving the gods in Solvunn, as well as the Summoned's invitation to visit the Feywilds last month. Scholars and laymen alike can be heard debating the nature of gods, men, and the Fey.

From Cadens to Aquila to Libertas, the streets are guarded. Soldiers patrol all areas, especially those typically occupied by the Summoned. This includes a particular inn and tavern in the heart of Cadens - The Sarstina - where the Summoned like you are often found. It's evident they're here for your protection rather than to prevent you from moving freely. Nevertheless, the atmosphere is cheery. Many have just returned from a fulfilling trip into the desert known as The Firebrand, where hobbyists celebrate innovation, independence, and unique inventions.

Life in the Free Cities has chiefly resumed, but the permanent increase in guards indicates a crisis in the past. There are also rumors of unusual rifts and creatures appearing out of nowhere.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the land, the barracks and Cadens have much for you to indulge in.

Training Grounds
Non-lethal training weapons and obstacle courses are set up for anyone to use. The soldiers will be watching, and if you catch their attention they might approach you and encourage you to enlist. You're free to invite other new arrivals to spar, but be sure to keep things friendly and avoid trouble. Discipline is key in the barracks. If you're especially competitive, the soldiers will sometimes hold impromptu obstacle races with informal wagers made. They'll be happy to race against even the most unlikely of opponents, and you'll be judged more on your spirit rather than your skill. If you really impress them, they'll even buy you a drink.

Marble Engravings
A researcher named Esi Hollandse has unveiled her newest creation: a handheld "laser" tool powered by New Magic meant to help sculptors sculpt stone. Come visit the beautifully displayed marble sculptures created using this new technique, which allows for more refined carving techniques. Want to try it for yourself? Why not! With some guidance, you can create your own etchings on a small stone block and take home your newest piece of art.

Swan Song
Due to the unusual rifts last month, several swans have invaded Cadens and are now becoming a menace, stealing bread, grains, and desserts from market stalls and shops. You might come across a shopkeeper chasing a swan after it stole their cheese or a harried attendant at the museum shooing a bird away from their precious artifacts. Perhaps you could lend a hand? Or, you could find yourself an unsuspecting victim of a swan. Any captured swans can be brought to Portam Hall and delivered to one of the government departments there, though you might have to stand in line while grasping an unhappy bird. Be careful not to let it escape!

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in an eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, opens on the first weekend of every month for a total of 3 days. Shortly after arriving, you'll be given a pendant that allows you to travel to and from the portal. In Cadens, the portal is a short walk away from the center of the city. You can enter Nocwich freely and explore what's available in Oleuni Square and Luna. You won't be able to enter Ikorr nor will you be able to exit into another faction's portals. Once there, you're welcome to meet those from other factions, take in the sights, and - if you've come by some money or a generous soul - even make a few small purchases. Inns are available for a fee if you want to stay overnight. Otherwise, you'll need to return home through the portals each day.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready to turn in, the barracks are waiting for you. They have a communal bathing room at the end of the hall, with curtains that can be pulled around the individual raised round tubs for privacy. Each barracks room is rather sparse. Six simple beds set against the wall, three on each side of the room, each with a trunk at the foot of it. You can greet your roommates here, most of whom will be new arrivals, as well.

If you plan on making use of your assigned quarters, you'll have your basic needs met: uniforms, a roof, bland food from the mess hall, and access to the training grounds. You won't be paid unless you formally enlist with the army. The longer you take advantage of the barracks, the greater the pressure to enlist. Some soldiers will start to see you as a freeloader if you refuse to join them yet continue to use their resources. If you're set on not enlisting, you can always strike out on your own in Cadens - but you won't be provided for and handouts are rare. You'll have to work to earn every copper and loaf of bread. Whether that's honest work is up to you.

Welcome to Solvunn

You're in a grassy clearing in the midst of a circle of large stone slabs stacked to look like doorways. In the middle is the same glimmering pool you were just pulled from. An elderly mage stands before an ornate altar. He holds an old leather-bound book in one hand and in the other is a card bearing an arcana symbol. "I detect no ill will from the gods," he says. "It seems we've been blessed with success."

Those that had gathered all breathe a sigh of relief and now seem pleased. One offers you some clothes of leather and knitted wool that seem to fit you perfectly. A rough-looking man steps forward once you're dressed and motions with his head outside of the stone circle. His speech is informal, his consonants harsh.

"Hold your horses, I can see all those questions coming about! Rowan March, at your service. I'm one of the council members of Solvunn. There's a lot to discuss, but it's best talked about over a hot meal." He leads you to a horse-drawn carriage and helps you up into the back. He talks the entire ride to the center of the Primary Settlement. You're told that the world hangs upon the brink of disaster and that there are those in this world that are happy to see it fall to ruin with their meddling.

You're important. The gods have graced them with your presence. They're delighted you're here.

◎ Surroundings

The Primary Settlement is full of greenery, blessed with the fresh ocean breeze. Winds are gentle and the temperatures are comfortably warm with light humidity. The scent of wildflowers fills the air. The shops, farms, and homes around you are all modest and unassuming. You get the sense that the people here prefer to blend in with their neighbors than stand out.

As you walk or look around, you'll be greeted warmly, even eagerly...though there's an edge of awestruck nervousness to some. Though the settlement is often quiet and calm, there's still plenty to take in:

Shops and stalls in Solvunn are booming with the fruits of spring and summer. Vendors are eager to barter goods and are in the habit of including extra gifts with any purchase or trades made. If you are looking for a good deal, now is the time!

Those in Solvunn are no longer discussing the execution of former Council member Josselyn Creed, but the ashes of her bones remain on display by an altar in the Primary Settlement - a reminder and a warning not to stray from the flock. As well, there's curious chatter surrounding the Summoned's invitation to visit the Feywilds last month.

Life in the Solvunn Commune has chiefly resumed, but the focus on appeasing the gods and increased shrine offerings indicate many have not forgotten the troubles of the past. There are also rumors of unusual rifts and creatures appearing out of nowhere.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the commune, the commune and its settlements have much for you to indulge in.

Goat Racing
That's right. One of Solvunn's fine traditions is its regular goat races. Meant to be a bit of informal fun, there's a pen of goats where you can choose a goat, get a number, and simply join one of the starting lines. These goats are not trained so the race is less of a race and more pure chaos as the goats do what they please. Whoever eventually wrangles their goat over the finish line wins. The only rule is that you can't pick up or physically pull your goat, but you're free to cajole, lure, or even use a bit of magic to get yours to the finish line first. Winners receive small prizes of cheese, ale, wood charms, woven baskets, and other similar tokens.

Shrine Supervision
During the recent Summer Equinox celebrations, the youth have a habit of holding their own tradition called the Guardian Séance. These unsanctioned rites are quickly stopped by Commune Elders, but there's been some damage and messes that need to be put right. Elders have asked you to supervise the adolescents who've been assigned to clean up the shrines and restore the damage they've caused. Beware of snakes in the grass! You're also welcome to help the teens with their task. Once completed, Elders will invite you to make an offering in the formal traditions of High Magic.

Bird Baths
Due to the unusual rifts last month, and with the convincing of a few of the Summoned, Solvunn has agreed to raise some of the unique pack birds on one of their farmlands. Unfortunately, the week's downpour has caused them to become very muddy. Desperate farmhands have asked for your help giving the birds a good wash to clean their dirty feathers. You can also help feed them grain and prevent any jealous goats from headbutting or fighting these docile birds.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in an eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, opens on the first weekend of every month for a total of 3 days. Shortly after arriving, you'll be given a pendant that allows you to travel to and from the portal. In Solvunn, the portal is a short walk away. You can enter Nocwich freely and explore what's available in Oleuni Square and Luna. You won't be able to enter Ikorr nor will you be able to exit into another faction's portals. Once there, you're welcome to meet those from other factions, take in the sights, and - if you've come by some money or a generous soul - even make a few small purchases. Inns are available for a fee if you want to stay overnight. Otherwise, you'll need to return home through the portals each day.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready for your bed, you're brought to the center of town and escorted to an apartment above one of the establishments in town. The living conditions are temporary if you'd like them to be: the local families would also be happy to host you in their home. In return, you'll be expected to contribute to their household, taking upon daily chores and repairs. While money has its uses, many establishments and craftsmen are happy to barter with your time or skill for their goods. You'll find your willingness to trade and your friendliness with the natives more valuable than gold.

You can even leave for the other two settlements if you like, but you're encouraged to remain in the Primary Settlement. Just be sure you have an invitation to the Secondary Settlement. There are tales of travelers visiting the secondary settlement without invitation disappearing without a trace. The gods are as hungry as they are protective.

Questions and Answers

If after reading these you're still unsure about anything, or your question wasn't covered, please feel free to hit up our Questions thread below!

How many slots are open?: Please check the Taken page for how many player, franchise, and canon slots are available. Activity check will be processed before applications open, so the count may change between now and then. Existing players can apply for a second character without restriction.
How do I choose a scenario for my character?: Pick whichever situation appeals to you most. Which faction your character is drawn into has nothing to do with their personal morality, beliefs, or how highly they regard themselves and their own accomplishments. Anyone can be put into any one of the situations.
What happens if my character refuses to comply with the NPCs?: They will be forgiven for their moment of panic or anger if they have one, and the faction leaders will try to calm them and persuade them further. If they put up too much of a fight and/or start actively attacking anyone, they will be warned once that everyone is willing to put them back in the well where they came from (see below), and if they continue to fight they will make good on that promise.
My character intends on causing a lot of trouble (destroying parts of the cities, murdering the NPCs, etc.), what would happen to them?: Characters who make too much trouble for the mages and other NPCs would be thrown back in the well (which will mean drowning in the void, not returning home). Brawling with other PCs and causing minor damage is fine and will be greeted with a cranky attitude and intervention from various NPC guards, and there will be plenty of opportunity for destruction and murder later, but for now the Abraxans have no desire to keep huge liabilities around.
Is the power loss for characters permanent?: No, but it does take a week or so for their powers to be back in full, and certain powers (determined on a case-by-case basis) may require nerfs. If your character has world-breaking powers, please discuss with the mods what modifications may be necessary.
Can my character leave the bounds of the nation?: In Thorne, characters can leave the castle but not the city. In the Free Cities, they can take a trip from the outpost to the nearest main city, Cadens. In Solvunn, they can explore the entirety of the Primary Settlement.
Can my character eventually change nations or kingdoms?: Yes, but tensions between the major nations are at an all-time high. Doing so is possible, but will require some plotting and discussion with the mods once you're in-game!
How much will my choice of scenario affect my character's plot later on?: This choice will determine where your character initially lives as well as the bias of the information they receive from NPCs (although other PCs can and most likely will give it to them a bit more straight). It will also affect your character's day-to-day life and development. Characters who seek technological advancements or combat will find more of it in the Free Cities while those keen on court politics and learning magic will have the most access to it in Thorne. Anyone who wishes to uncover the secrets of the Old Gods and forest mysteries will best do so in Solvunn.

This is not to say characters can't do these things from another faction - with effort and the help of friends, anything is possible! Don't get too anxious about your choice. This is just one of many, and every character in each scenario can work their way towards many individual goals and outcomes. Additionally, once in-game the Horizon will provide characters with a way to easily find cross-faction CR.
Are TDM threads mandatory for my application?: No, you may use other samples, but we encourage you to post to the TDM and get a feel for this game and its mechanics before you join. If you do not have a TDM thread you will still need to choose one of the three scenarios on your application.
What if I haven't settled on a sign yet?: Your Arcana sign won't have an immediate impact on your character beyond them seeing it on themselves or being told what it is by the locals. You're welcome to disregard those aspects in your prompts or try out different signs.
Can my character go to the Horizon?: First time visitors to the Horizon must be taken there by other characters, through either shared meditation or a physical journey to the Singularity, and all first-timers experience memory loss. For the purposes of the TDM, we suggest against using the Horizon.

If you're interested in threading with characters outside your borders on the TDM, you can utilize the Nocwich prompt which will allow all characters to meet in person regardless of arrival scenario.
What about making use of the network?: Much like Horizon they would need to be introduced to it by another PC, as no NPCs would be aware of the network or be able to access it. Because of this, we would advise against using this mechanic for TDM top-levels.
Can I try out more than one arrival scenario on the same TDM?: Yes, although only threads taking place in the arrival scenario you formally choose upon applying can count as canon. However, you're welcome to try out as many as you like on the TDM.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Linhardt didn't hold the confusion against Karson: The situation in Adrestia is almost absurdly complex. It belonged in a storybook or an opera, not in real life. There were at least 5 factions operating independently and most likely subfactions within each.

"I don't know." Linhardt answered honestly, taking no offense to the question. He has never been shy about offering his opinion - he and Edelgard were somewhat known for their stubborn disagreements - and here Linhardt was not subject to the consequences he would be at home so there was even less reason to be withholding, "My father might be right that he's the best person to be doing these things and that the concessions he wants from Edelgard will temper her excesses and keep her from changing things too quickly. Edelgard strikes me as the sort of person to find help wherever she can, and the other options would be far worse for the country." It was a frank statement: Linhardt admired Edelgard and might under duress or a great amount of substance admit to seeing her as a friend and being concerned for her, but he was able to hold his opinion of her as a ruler outside of his personal regard. The war had given Linhardt a gift for compartmentalizing.

"He is also a good ruler of our territory, which many of his peers are not." Nobody in Linhardt's territory feared their lords, their people were well off and educated due to the territories' specialty in skilled trades, and their territory was defensible, "But even if it is wise for my father to have more power in Adrestia, it is absolutely unwise for me to inherit it."

Linhardt didn't fear that his father would abuse the power. He feared that the results of his father's actions would overwhelm him and chain him to Adrestia for the rest of his life. He also somewhat worried how Edelgard and Hubert would respond: so far they worked together irritatingly well, but they were all deeply pragmatic and equally committed to getting what they wanted, "I hate this discussion topic. I can't do anything about political idiocy."

"Of course. We can't only sleep in our beds. Have you never slept smelling fresh roses? Or in the afternoon sun atop a beach stone? What other basic joys in life have you missed?"

"Have you ever had sorbet?" Perhaps Kelson was so interested in politics because he has been completely deprived.

Linhardt raised an eyebrow, "Yes. To both questions. If you wake me up for a hangover, the only thing I promise to do is make you feel worse." A doctor didn't mean Kelson's doctor.

"Cuts are basic. Hangovers are more complex. Both are rather routine and dull."

Well at least he was honest. He knew it was a complex topic and easy to have opinions. He certainly did. And as someone who wanted to change things quickly, it was difficult not to see similarities between himself and Edelgard, even if they may or may not have been there. No, Kelson decided to stop trying to draw conclusions between their words. He did not know enough to make an informed decision. There were obviously extraneous factors at work, and any number of them could help or hinder. He simply didn't know enough.

But it did bother him that Linhardt didn't have a clear sense of what he believed. Perhaps that was a byproduct of his lack of duty. Or sense of duty. One couldnt just have fun all the time.

"I'm glad you realize that at least. Do you intend to abdicate then?" Kelson asked the same question that had been asked of him, and then shook his head.

"You are right. Let's turn to other, less tedious topics." Although Kelson loved politics. He understood them. Still, he was also known to get bored during court and council meetings.

"Sorbet? No, I can't say that I have. And no, I have not slept in odd places." While deprived would not be a word most people would use with respect to Kelson's position or live, he certainly hasn't been free. Or it seems, exposed to sorbet. And yet, yes, he totally did expect Linhardt to be his doctor. Wasn't that the way it worked? He was the king! Okay. A king. Perhaps not Linhardt's but. Still.

"Some physician you are."

Edited 2023-07-24 00:21 (UTC)

"If we can come up with an alternative that everybody can agree on and that is likely to work at least as well as my staying, then yes." Linhardt answered immediately with no hint of shame. He admitted he was not well suited, so to stay if there was a better option available would have been foolish and too ego driven.

"There is nothing odd about them. Why would there be warm stones if not to sleep upon? The world is created for enjoyment. I endorse the experience. I also recommend sorbet - it melts on the tongue. I enjoy the flavor of peach the most, but almost any fruit can be used and it will be delectable."

Why were people so complicated? Linhardt's posture shifted, arms coming up and crossing in a defensive gesture at the statement that he was a poor physician.

"As you say, I am a terrible healer and you should never seek my services."

Ordinarily, Linhardt would have left it at the sardonic reply, but there are implications to the idea that he is a poor physician. That he would allow for harm to come to his friends, when he has moved mountains to keep those idiots alive. To keep the consequences of their actions from following too heavily on the poor souls following them.

"I am the type of physician who practices on battlefields and who sets boundaries so that my healers do not desert or give into despair en masse. And a physician that needs to conserve his limited energy - the topic we just discussed - for emergencies. A child can heal cuts and you choose to drink that many alcoholic drinks. There are far fewer healers with expertise in poison removal, exotic magic, or complex internal injuries. Or who can perform complex healing on the front line without being killed."

Linhardt didn't care about his title - he might be Lord Hevring or he might not. He for some reason cared very much at the insinuation he was not acting in the best interests of those he cared for. Which was surprising, and Linhardt widened his eyes after his rant, then reached up to pinch his nose and breath, clearly shocked by his own outburst.

"I apologize. You should think whatever you please."

"Aren't stones. Well. Hard? Even if they're warm? They don't exactly become fluffy. The sorbet sounds delicious though. I'd quite love to try it." Maybe Kelson just hadn't had the right experience. After all, he was used to sleeping in a bed. Or during war time, a pallet. But still, it was the nicest pallet ever. But his world didn't lend itself to importunity the way Linhardt seemed to like.

And then Kelson stepped in it. He sighed, realizing that maybe he shouldn't talk to Linhardt the way he might joke with Dhugal. They were different people, and, well, obviously, he knew Dhugal a lot better than he did Linhardt.

"You are right. I sincerely apologize. I spoke without thinking. This place has me all mixed up." Which was true. He was not doing fabulously only a tenuous hold on his own magic and it was keeping him in short temper and nauseated himself.

Kelson tried to give a peace offering. "If you do find yourself working on a patient in need of pain control, I can help with that. Or if you need defending. I am quite good with a sword. Or a bow." Also he used magic to cheat. But he'd rather others be dead than himself or his companions.

It seems, perhaps, Kelson had misjudged him. Linhardt did care after all. "I'm sure you are quite a valuable physician. It truly is a noble calling."

"That's why you lay something on top of the stone first. Ideally something that soaks up the heat and passes it through to your body." Napping on a sun-warmed stone was a key life experience. It would be a shame if someone were not to experience it. Even if said someone was something of a buzzkill who would fit in well in either Farghus or with Ferdinand. Linhardt has not decided which yet.

An apology. That suggested Ferdinand: The Farghans tended to double down when they made mistakes or their worldview was questioned. Ferdinand was capable of recognizing his errors, which made him bearable.

"Thank you." Linhardt appreciated the apology. He wasn't the sort to hold grudges - what mattered was someone's current behavior. His primary interest when it came to conflict was always resolving whatever action or disagreement had led to it; he has no desire for revenge or to demand his feelings be acknowledged.

"I sincerely hope that I will not be in a situation where anyone is trying to kill me. I am tired of that experience; it has become tedious." And Thorne had done little to earn his participation in whatever conflicts they find themselves in, "I would prefer you flee rather than harbor any foolish thoughts of defense."

Linhardt didn't like people endangering themselves for him.

"It may be a noble calling but it's also a rather endless one. Like trying to move the ocean with a thimble." Save everyone so what? They can die the next time instead? It was wearing on him, "Especially when your patients go around doing things like offering defense to strangers." Was there something about being royal that made them like that? An allergy to self-preservation?

Kelson looked absolutely puzzled, but was willing to take the others word for it. He still thought it would be hard, but, maybe if you put something softer down to cushion it? Still, he did really like sleep. Kelson was not a morning person. At least not willingly.

While being a giant buzzkill, Kelson was also self aware enough to realize his mistakes. And then usually emotionally flaggelated himself until someone made him stop. Blame his mother for that one. He was totally his mother. Just don't tell him, he'd be so offended. But there were also times when he'd dig his heals in and refuse to believe he was wrong. You could wear him down and make him realize his mistakes but sometimes, he was obstinate. Kelson held himself to a high standard and became absolutely maudlin when that standard was not upheld. Or simply refused to believe it. One or the other. It usually eventually ended with wallowing depression though.

"Sometimes my temper gets the best of me. It's a fault." It was a Haldane thing. He had been told not to antagonize people. And yet, sometimes he antagonized people. But that was one thing he and Linhardt agreed on. Actions spoke more than words.

"If the situation is hopeless, we both will flee. But I don't leave people behind." As for self preservation and defending others, it was definitely not a royal thing. Or Kelson wouldn't have had to just behead his cousin. No, best not thing about that. He was getting nauseous again.

"Ahh, so I am your patient!" He smiled. "I think we have that in common, trying to do good and create change sometimes feels endless and thankless." Kelson didn't say anything but he thought that the situation they were in here in Thorne did not care that Linhardt wanted out. If he read things correctly, it was a dangerous game they were in, and Thorne was losing.

Maybe he was wrong.

No. He wasn't wrong. The signs were all there. The guards, the tension. He sighed.

"The fact that you're aware that it is a fault is welcome." Trying to talk people into behaving logically was a terribly futile endeavor when the other person did not realize that their emotions were preventing them from acting rationally. (And of course Linhardt always acted rationally: He would never be obstinate. All the rumors about how impossible he was to work with and how trying to convince the Hevring heir to do things was a gamble at best were completely wrong and in no way accurate. As was the rumor that even Edelgard and Hubert had switched to bribery.)

"If other people want to leave, we would protect them." People should be allowed to leave, especially civilians. None of them had ever asked for any problems, why should they have to bear the consequences? "But I am not going to stay and risk my life for those who refuse to leave. If they have death wishes, that is their concern." Linhardt had taken the position he had out of personal interest in his colleagues' safety. He had no such personal relationships to risk his life for in Thorne.

"You are not my patient." He insisted, "Consider it professional courtesy I have for whomever is responsible for keeping you from dying." Linhardt would help Kelson, but he didn't want Kelson to know that. That might mean Kelson would give him work.

"Why the sigh?"

Linhardt had found Thorne hospitable enough except for the insistence that he wasn't allowed to leave.

Kelson knew what he meant. There were others he had met in his life that would not have admitted fault. Sadly, usually they ended up dead. It was not a good fault to have. Pride.

"I'm afraid we may not be given much choice in the matter." Kelson finally admitted. "Have you noticed the guards around Thorne? The tension? It's not normal. It's exactly what I would do if things were going very, very poorly." Guards would be tripled, archers would be standing by unseen. He'd have magical enchantments and warnings ready. No, something was not right here.

"I think Thorne is losing the right. Or at the very least, they are not doing well."

"No." It's an honest answer. Linhardt was paying absolutely zero attention to the political situation in Thorne and had resisted any attempts to bring him into awareness. He was stubbornly apathetic about anything with a whiff of conflict or politics, "I've been avoiding people."

There was never any tension to observe because more than 2 other people in a space meant that it was time for Linhardt to leave. He had entered this world as a nobody and intended to stay that way. Nobodies were allowed to spend their lives in libraries.

"I take your point, however. I can't imagine they would be summoning healers unless they were losing too many soldiers. I have no intention of being involved; I do not have enough information to know if Thorne is worth preserving or what they would plan to do if they reversed their fortunes. I do not know what Thorne's citizens think."

"Just because they are the nation who called us does not mean that they are correct. Or that any of them are." It was entirely possible for every nation in Abraxas to be corrupt. Or for this all to be a big communication mishap. Both are possible. They just didn't know.

And Kelson thought he was an introvert. Wow. Then again, he supposed it was a lot easier for Linhardt to avoid people than he could. Or perhaps he'd just fall asleep. Still, Kelson wished he didn't notice. He couldn't help but.

He wondered what it would be like to live like that. To just. Avoid. Care but not care. He couldn't do it. Maybe that was just a fact of who he was, as much as his upbringing? Intrinsic nature or taught behavior?

"Did you ever think that we might not be given a choice?" Kelson decided to voice his fears. Linhardt could make his decision now or when the time came. But at least he'd be forwarned, if Kelson was right.

"Like you said, ordinary people often get caught in the crossfire. We're right here in Castle Thorne. Do you really think we're going to be left out? That they went through all of this trouble just to have someone say 'no thanks'.

Linhardt fell into that blissful status of 'Important enough that almost nobody could tell him what to do but not so important that he's always the most important person in the room'. Between his privilege (of which he is mostly unaware) and his contributions being primarily intellectual in nature (and therefore difficult to force), Linhardt was less restricted than most people. Even if he complained incessantly about the few restrictions that were placed on him.

"They could try, but attempting to force me to fight would be ill-advised." There was a quiet confidence to Linhardt's statement: Nocwich is dark, forcing Linhardt to fight would be a bad idea, "If they are that short on soldiers and magical resources, they should not risk me turning on them, and if they know who I am they must also be aware of my aversion to violence as well as that my magical talent extends to battle magic."

So yes. Linhardt did expect them to leave him out of their problems. If they wanted him to incinerate people, there was no guarantee he'd incinerate Thorne's enemies.

Unfortunately for Linhardt, the 'most important person in the room' category was standing right next to him. But Kelson was used to walking a thin line, knowing his own abilities made him stand out. He was caught between touting them as Divine Right and being the most benevolent Deryni ever. He had been told time and time again he had to be Perfect. If he wasn't he was dead. He could have an unfortunate accident at any time.

So Kelson didn't say what he might have said. That if he or perhaps anyone in Thorne wanted to, he could make Linhardt fight. It wasn't that difficult. Well placed hostages, idle or not so idle threats of harm. A simple magical brainwashing. It wasn't that hard to influence someone, or break them, magical or not, if you knew what you were doing. Or do away with someone who wasn't cooperative. Poison, a fall down the stairs, a fall from a horse. It wasn't hard. He thought back briefly to how easy it had been to stop someone's heart with a thought. Too easy.

So, he didn't say any of those things. Instead he said "Have you thought about the fact that the fighting might place you directly in harms way? May bloom into Castle Thorne, or Nocwich?" It was quite easy to get stabbed in the back while you were shopping for trinkets, or sleeping.

Although Linhardt was aware of such circumstances - the primary reason he had involved himself in first the Church's doings and then Edelgard's was due to the impact him not doing so would have on his friends, family, and colleagues - they've never really applied to him. Linhardt's father helped to run the justice system in Adrestia: Nobody is going to imprison him. He'd grown up in castles and fortresses personally protected. He wasn't in much danger during the war outside of the battlefield - Edelgard, the Professor, Hubert, and Ferdinand were the assassination targets, not Linhardt. Hence why he was so blasé.

"I hadn't thought about it, no." It was yet another overly honest answer, "I would likely attempt to flee or hide. If I were found, there are ways to stop someone from attacking you that don't require harming them or engaging in a fight."

"I would defend myself if someone attacked me to the point I was in true danger after I made clear I was not hostile. Or if attempts were made to harm those who could not fight." If Castle Thorne were attacked, Linhardt would act to protect civilians and escort them away, but he would not act in aggression.

"There is no need to worry about me. I have a small amount of innate healing magic: So long as I do not die I will eventually be fine. I simply may need to sleep for a long time." Linhardt smiled and then yawned again. Mmm. Naps. It was almost time for one, "And if I do die I will not be alive to care."

Linhardt's been protected. Kelson's been excommunicated by his own bishops. Not that Kelson wasn't protected. He certainly had all the privileges given to him. He had the best teachers, sat at his fathers side in court since he could sit by himself unaided, and he didn't fear what he was. Unlike both his parents. Kelson had a much better nuance and understanding of situations than his father King Brion had, he was more philosophical.

Not that Kelson didn't have his own problems. Make one mistake and he'd slip into unbridled depression.

"Do you know how many people will also be hiding or fleeing?" Kelson inquired. Honestly, Linhardt had no chance. Especially if he insisted on this fruitless point of view.

"Have you ever been in the middle of a war?" He thought he knew the answer. Battle was one thing. The chaos of a war with so many different factors and different people was quite another.

Kelson did worry about him. More so the more this conversation drew on. He was quite sure Linhardt could die if he was accidentally impaled by a broadsword while screaming he was not hostile.

Edited 2023-07-25 19:02 (UTC)

"That depends on whether we are in Nocwich or Castle Thorne." Linhardt answered, "And what would you suggest? That we leave those fleeing to their own devices?" If he fled, he could protect others who were running.

"Yes." The reply was short, Linhardt's words clipped, "I have."

"Which is why I am not in any rush to participate in another one." A combination of annoyance and hopelessness leaked into Linhardt's voice. He knew his stance on violence and conflict wasn't reasonable. He knew. He sighed and closed his eyes, "I will defend myself." Linhardt swallowed, now pre-occupied with thoughts of what it would be to be taken from one war and thrown into another one, "Is it so wrong to not want to bring harm to people who likely also have no choice in the matter?"

He was weary in a different way than his usual physical exhaustion, "And is it so wrong to be willing to endure some discomfort to not do so?" 'Some discomfort' was one way to describe attempted murder, "Stab wounds do not keep me awake at night." The people he's killed did.

"Of course not. They would require defending. However, I would caution you to temper your expectations." In his opinion it was also easier to cover someone who was fleeing when you were not fleeing yourself.

Then Linhardt's eyes and expression changed. Kelson saw that hopelessness in there, and wondered if he had misread him. It seemed perhaps his opinions did not match his experience.

So Kelson's own demeanor chanced, and did his best to soften the harder stance to his voice. "No, it is not. Forcing a surrender through non lethal means or with minimal casualties is always something to strive for. I have managed to do it on several occasions. But not always." He was proud of those times he had succeeded. Unfortuantely those times were damaged by the deaths caused later on. Deaths he knew would have been far less if he had killed instead of showing mercy.

Then Kelson arched an eyebrow and simply stared at Linhardt. Discomfort? Really? He didn't deign to answer that. It was ridiculous.

"My expectation is that we would all die." Linhardt responded bluntly. He was not an optimist. Nor did he require lectures on the trade-offs involved in warfare. He knew how war worked, he just hated it. Why didn't anyone understand that other than Dorothea? That his magical prowess and its military application didn't grant him the right to immolate a soldier who might have been plucked from his home for reasons he didn't fully understand and sent to a battlefield?

"I am ill-suited for leadership, for reasons which you have identified. I do not deny this." He continued, "But nor can I force myself to be otherwise."

"You're staring at me without speaking. Usually this happens because I have violated a social or cultural boundary. Have I done so?" Knowing that he had transgressed a boundary would not stop Linhardt from doing so, but he did like to know what rules he was breaking. The healer was genuinely curious; having spent most of his life being told that his morals, emotions, and discomforts didn't matter or should change has both made Linhardt stubborn and adopt a stance that nobody cared about his experiences except for himself. Hence why he was so defensive of his right to his own life.

Maybe Kelson had been broken down. He felt the same way. He was incredibly proud of his achievements where no blood had been spilled. The problem was it never lasted. Maybe that was a product of the way he was raised, or being king for so many bloody years, but the idealism had been somewhat culled from him. Somewhat. In many ways, he was still idealistic. He wholeheartedly believed that he could and would raise the Deryni from the second class, maligned individuals hampered by political and ecclesiastical rule to the equality that everyone else achieved. He believed this. And somehow believed the assassination attempts and coups would stop.

But war? No, he didn't believe that.

"No, you have not violated any social or cultural boundary. I just." Kelson shook his head. "I cannot believe you equate the possibility of being killed with discomfort. I wish you would place your own life and safety with as much skill and love as you do those around you. You seem to place those you do not know on a higher pedestal than your own life. Your own passion will get you killed."

Oh look. Pot. Meet kettle.

The healer's face went through a flock of micro-expressions, one after the other: mild confusion, discomfort, and then settled on anxiety. Linhardt didn't meet Carson's eyes, choosing instead to look around their surroundings, grounding himself with mental questions about the meaning of what he saw.

To say Linhardt wasn't used to concern would be an understatement.

"I want to live. I will take great steps to do so." Loyalty, for example, didn't concern Linhardt at all. If he were in a situation where he needed to surrender or turn traitor in order to live, he would do so. Linhardt was an unabashed coward.

"My life is equal to anyone's else's in value." There was no difference between souls - at least not that Linhardt could sense. It was a tragedy whenever a living person's life drained away and sensing it always nauseated Linhardt. Battlefields were constant assaults on Linhardt's magical senses.

Linhardt was silent for a moment.

"I discovered a long time ago that I have very little control over the possibility of death. I do have some control over how I live my life. I will not become one of the people who places my personal desires other the lives of others. I have seen where that leads."

That was a lot of words for something very simple. It was only logical, "I do not mind. I have stopped panicking when I am injured; I can handle it."

What do you mean, disassociation is bad? Disassociation is great.

There. Right there. That was the difference. Lindhardt believed his life was equal to anyone elses. Kelson had been told differently. Many, many times. That his life was intrinsically worth more, as Gwynedd's king. Especially now that he had been found out as part Deryni. He had a purpose. A destiny. That his life was to be given over to a higher purpose. He could not die.

But he did not argue, for he did not have a good argument, and did not know enough about Lindhart's life to even frame one should he wanted too. And let's be real. Kelson didn't want to say out loud that his life, and others, were worth more.

"And where does that lead, Lindhart?" Kelson finally asked, a little quietly.

Kelson also disassociated. But not during battle. After. It was usually after.

Linhardt had been told for his entire life that he was important. Not as important as Edelgard perhaps, but given the domestic struggles in Adrestia it was questionable if any of the great families would actually consider the Emperor or their family members to be more important. Linhardt had also been taught not to trust what he was told, and the evidence suggested that there was no objective difference in value between people. The primary difference was that if he died, there would be consequences to a greater number of people. Which was something to consider, but inherent status was not the only determiner of what the consequences of a person's death would be.

"It leads to humans being used as resources, and to non-consensual human experimentation. And it leads to leaders who cannot be questioned, which means their plans are never fortified and are executed with glaring weaknesses."

"I also know myself." If nothing else, Linhardt was very aware of himself. Even the parts of himself he avoided and didn't approve of, he would admit are present. It's engaging with those parts that he would not do, "And people would be less pleased with my being less hampered than they would think."

Well Kelson felt that was a giant leap and he couldn't put the pieces of logic together that Lindhardt had. He was sorely tempted to raise another eyebrow or roll his eyes. There was logic based on ones experiences and then there was actual logic.

"Can you walk me through how you came to that?" He asked, trying to be as gentle and patient has Father Duncan would have been in that instance, but he knew he failed utterly. Lindhart was being crazy. Kelson also wanted to point out that not all of their life experiences mattered here, but he hadn't fully accepted that yet so, he wasn't going to say it out loud.

"So," Kelson trying to put his thoughts together. " You would let yourself be hurt or killed because of others opinions?" Was he getting that right?

(OOC: And on Linhardt's end: "Wow, this king isn't going to live for very long...")

Ugh.

This was why Linhardt didn't like talking to people. They could never follow what he was saying, so he either had to back up and explain everything (which usually resulted in whining about how boring or dull he was) or pretend to change his mind so that people would leave him be. Linhardt rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I know that tone - I'd rather you just tell me you think I am insane or wrong." Linhardt meant it: Just tell him he was in error so that he could correct himself. There was no need to pander to his ego, "Placing one's personal desires over the lives of others usually means that said person has no regard for the wishes of others. In the case of those of us who are interested in science and the truth-" 'Interested in' meaning 'obsessed with' depending on who you asked about Linhardt, "-it means trying things without considering the consequences. I personally saw an entire village forced to slaughter each other in order to see if a particular type of magic would work."

"And I would have approved at one point in my life." Linhardt looked Carson in the eye, "After all, what is one village's sacrifice in the pursuit of knowledge? Rulers tend to feel likewise, but about their own glorious reigns or plans. It's worth it because I'm different - I'm doing these things for their own good. Aren't you?"

"Which leads to an identification of one's sense of self with one's position and therefore any criticism of one's position or glorious goals is seen as an attack on the ruler's person. Lady Rhea was not going to respond well to pointing out the logistical weaknesses to her actions. Her Majesty allows criticism, but it's doubtful that she would do so if Ferdinand and I were not politically necessary." Ferdinand being the other Black Eagle that openly and consistently challenged Edelgard. Linhardt actually liked Edelgard, but he had ambiguous feelings about her as an Emperor.

"I would allow harm to come to my person so that rot does not set into my soul." Linhardt continued, "My colleagues would be rather pleased if I abandoned my dislike of violence, but I do not believe they would be pleased that I were so unfettered without loyalty to their cause." His participation in the war stemmed from his morals and if Linhardt were allowed to be completely selfish he would let Fodlan burn if it meant he learned more, "Furthermore, death and injury should not be treated the same. One is permanent, the other is not. If I die, I cannot do any of the things that bring me joy. If I am injured, I will eventually recover."

"I think," Kelson said carefully, "that you need to carefully consider and balance your wish to help others with the safety of your own life, and your own desires. Wanting something for yourself isn't necessarily bad. It doesn't mean that you have failed or have no regard for others wishes. It is a balance. However, I can see how you would come to this from seeing what you have. Entire villages being slaughtered for whatever reason is abhorrent. "

Was he making any sense? Kelson tried to put into words what he believed, what his own experiences had brought him too. That kind of balance, that trust that meant, unfortunately some had to die in order for others to live.

"I believe you can harbor a dislike of violence and harm toward others while still carrying such things out, if necessary. It shall not necessarily stain your soul. I do hope it has not stained mine."

He shook his head, still thinking Linhardt was wrong. But he also knew he wasn't going to be able to persuade him. At least right now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

TEST DRIVE MEME #13

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Linhardt is from a very stressful canon point...

<3 so is Kelson. They are both not exactly at their best!

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And then work went nuts and I lost my mojo <3 sorry!

I'm only this quick cause Mondays are one of my days off no worries

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Linhardt is so wrong it kills me

He's so wrong it could actually kill him LOL

SO wrong - he's so coddled and he's so unaware of the BENEFITS he's so arrogant

Linhardt .....//headdesk

That is the proper response to Linhardt, yes

Sorry life is nuts!

No life! Only RP! :P Linhardt's experiences and his opinions are two separate circles, no overlap

hahaha i wish you could tell my life that! <3

Wouldn't it be great if we could tell life what to do? Give it a time out...

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Linhardt had a weird upbringing - "don't trust anyone...wait we don't mean US >:("

LOL Kelson thinks Linhardt is just weird

Oh good I'm doing this right: 'weird' and 'contrary' fit Linhardt 110% - also arrogant

I AM SO SORRY <3