TEST DRIVE MEME #17

[abraxasmods]

Test Drive Meme

Important Links

Setting ⦁ Game History ⦁ NPCs ⦁ Arcana ⦁ FAQ

Welcome to the Test Drive Meme for Abraxas! This meme is run a little bit differently than most in that you'll be asked to choose one of three different arrival scenarios below for your character to take.

If you have any questions about this mechanic or anything else related to the TDM, please take a look at the questions below or ask one of your own under the Questions header below. You can also find answers to questions asked on previous TDMs in their respective question threads.

The TDM is forward-dated to when the summonings occur in-game (when applications are accepted), at the start of April.

While the world is undergoing some tumultuous weather, newly arrived characters will be assured that everything is being taken care of and cautioned to shelter indoors where possible.

Summoning

You awaken suspended in the abyss, silent darkness stretching out in all directions. If you try to yell, you'll find that the sound doesn't carry. If you try to move, you'll find it's impossible to tell whether or not you're getting anywhere. If you reach for an item you were carrying the last time you remember being awake, your hand will only touch bare skin.

You're naked and floating helplessly through the void, and what little air you have in your lungs is running out.

There's a pinprick of light that almost looks like a faraway star but as it grows it becomes clear that it's actually quite close. It's hard to make out any individual objects as if you're looking from beneath rippling water.

A hand plunges through and you realize water is just what it is. Whether you take hold of the hand or not it will grab you and yank you up through the surface, lifting you out until you're sprawled on solid ground - still unclothed.

Arrival

You'll find yourself summoned to one of the following three major territories: the extravagant and magical Kingdom of Thorne, the bustling and advanced Free Cities, or the tightknit and faith-driven rural community of the Solvunn Commune.

If you had any powers, they feel unusually weak. Attempts to use magic or enhanced strength or powers of any sort fizzle out without any effect, but they don't feel completely gone, either. After a week or so, your abilities will return.

When you gather your bearings at last, you look up into a series of unfamiliar faces...and equally unfamiliar surroundings.

Go to scenario

Kingdom of Thorne ⦁ The Free Cities ⦁ Solvunn Commune

Welcome to Thorne

Set into an indent on a marble slab behind the fountain is a card bearing the image of one of the Arcana. An apprentice mage - the one whose hand lifted you out of the fountain - brushes the water off on their robes and runs back to join a group of three others, who all stare intently at another mage with highly decorated robes and a large, heavy book. The man peers up at you for a moment and starts flipping through the book.

"One moment," he says, not bothering to look up from the tome. He looks tired. "I am Ambrose Rhett, the High Mage of the Kingdom of Thorne. We’ll explain everything in a moment, but for now, please calm down. You’re completely fine."

Regardless of your response, he keeps flipping through the pages, until he stops on one specific passage, stares at it for a moment, and then nods, satisfied. "Excellent." He motions for one of the young apprentice mages over. "Settle our guest in, please. I don't have all day."

The apprentice hurries forward with a fine silk tunic, pants, and some basic sandals. With a wave of their hand, the clothes reshape to fit you perfectly. Once you're dressed, the apprentice leads you into the hallways of Castle Thorne, prattling on about the kingdom, names of royals and nobles, and, of course, the reason why you're here: the world itself is in great peril, and tales of your exploits have reached far and wide across universes. If asked about these exploits, the apprentice will simply smile and shrug. The High Mage was happy to see you and that's good enough.

◎ Surroundings

Castle Thorne is where not only royals and members of the court reside but includes the surrounding city itself. Now in spring, the weather is cool and marked by howling windstorms. In the distance, snow continues to cover the mountain peaks. Spring flowers are beginning to bloom in the gardens. The castle is enchanted to be at a comfortable temperature.

As you walk or look around, you take in some of what's going on around you:

• Windstorms batter the walls outside. The city of Castle Thorne is largely safe, but debris, fallen trees, and toppled wagons are still a danger. Try not to go outside unless you have to! Across the sky, lightning surges horizontally, never touching the ground.


• The North Wing, devoted to housing the Summoned, is tightly guarded against outsiders. As one of the Summoned, you're free to come and go. The guards aren't keeping anyone prisoner. They're there to protect you, and they take their jobs seriously.


• Apprentices, kitchen staff, guards - everyone seems to be bustling. There's some buzz about the arrival of Admiral Rudolph Sidwell, the Queen's uncle. While Rudolph is temporarily staying in Nott, he can occasionally be seen in the castle halls when he visits Castle Thorne.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the land, Castle Thorne and its surrounding city have much for you to indulge in.

Sorting Tomes
A few apprentices out on errands have grown trapped behind some fallen debris, leaving the library short of helping hands. Volunteers are desperately needed to help sort and shelve the books, which are beginning to pile up. Fortunately, Thorne's magical shelving system means the shelves will immediately let you know if a book has been placed incorrectly. Unfortunately, the way this works is that the book will expel itself back out and fall to the floor. Watch your head!

Serene Steeds
Due to the heavy storms, Thorne's prized horses are growing nervous in their stables. To help soothe them, apprentice mages have asked you to cast a calming spell on each horse. The spell relies on Academic Magic. While the spell only requires saying a few words correctly, a lack of concentration can result in some unexpected memories or feelings surfacing, inducing strong emotions. You might vividly recall a tumultuous moment in your life or find yourself reflecting on who you are, where you came from, and where you might go next.

Painting Session
You're encouraged to explore Thorne's proud naval history in Borrel at its Maritime Fair. Because of the storms, it's being held indoors within heavily strengthened walls. Here, you can join a paint and cider session where you can follow a guided instructor to paint a displayed model of Thorne's famous naval warships. To finish your masterpiece, decorate the frame with Borrel's famous sea glass. The paints and brushes are enchanted to help you along, but it requires a little concentration. Growing frustrated with your progress might cause some splatters or turn the colors muddy. Not to worry! You can always start again with a fresh canvas.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, is, unfortunately, CLOSED due to recent events.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready to rest, you're shown to the North Wing, which has been set up as living quarters for you and your fellow newcomers. There are four people to a room, but each generously sized bed has opaque curtains that can be drawn around it. You can meet your roommates here and discuss your shared situation (those who were previously brought in may have a great deal of information to tell you).

As an important figure to the kingdom, you can't move out of the city of Castle Thorne without permission or take any extended trips. If you're feeling restless, though, day trips to Nott or Borrel via portal are allowed, or you can visit Nocwich. Don't try to sneak out - someone will bring you back. Besides, Castle Thorne gives you everything you need: fine clothes, great food and wine, massive libraries, and all the magic and knowledge you could want. Isn't that plenty? You won't be given money as you're provided for, so if you want to do some personal spending later, you'll have to find a job in the city or you can earn some pocket money by doing chores around the Castle.

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Welcome to the Free Cities

Dry warmth hits you at once as you're set on a hard floor of dull ruddy stone. Men and women in unfamiliar uniforms of brown and red leather stand in a semi-circle around a small pool of water - the very pool you were just pulled from. The water is still now, rimmed in pale gold tiles with odd symbols etched into them. Across it is a raised pedestal with a card bearing an Arcana symbol.

A guard covers you with a simple robe and returns to their place in the semi-circle. Before you stands another woman, dressed in a more elaborate and decorated uniform than the others. A sword rests at her hip. She carries an air of authority as she approaches you with a nod and a warm smile. "Sorry about the circumstances. Take a minute, catch your breath. I'm Prime Minister Marlo Reiner and you're in The Free Cities. That nice lady over there will explain everything to you and get you settled."

A robed mage off to the side approaches to help you up. She brings you out of the cave through a corridor that angles upwards until you emerge in what looks like some kind of storage facility. You'll learn you're in the Cadens Desert Outpost 003, a military base on the outskirts of the major city of Cadens. You're told the world is in delicate and dangerous times, and you're needed to help. You're important and they're very grateful you're here.

◎ Surroundings

While you're currently at the outpost just outside of the city proper, Cadens on the whole is a large bustling city. The climate is hot and dry, though the sandstorm has obscured the sun, lowering the typical spring temperatures. At night, temperatures will drop further. Look to the west and you'll see a long stretch of desert wasteland. This is the infamous Badlands. The soldiers don't recommend going out there unprepared - you're likely to face a slow death to the elements or be eaten. Reaching Cadens is possible by wagon, a trip of about 2 hours each way. You're asked to return by sundown for your safety... but no one will chase after you if you don't.

You'll be given a military style uniform with your Arcana stitched on it where a formal rank would normally be. As you walk or look around, you take in some of what's going on around you:

• Sandstorms assail the cites, especially in Cadens. The dust is thick and choking, and visibility is low. Try not to go outside unless you have to! Across the sky, lightning surges horizontally, never touching the ground.


• In the Cadens barracks, soldiers are hard at work fortifying its walls and preparing for further changes in weather. Shops and merchant stalls that populate Cadens' outdoor markets are absent. With the storms going on, the city streets are eerily empty except for vagrants and those who don't have shelter to retreat to.


• City guards are present around an inn and tavern at the heart of Cadens - The Sarstina - where the Summoned like you are often found. They're here for your protection, not to prevent you from moving freely.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the land, the barracks and Cadens have much for you to indulge in.

Pimp My Ride
Innovation is the way of the Free Cities, and showing it off is just as important. Every few years, wagon enthusiasts will display their customized New Magic-powered wagons in the Wagon Parade. Although this usually takes place in the streets of Cadens, this month's storm has forced the parade indoors into the Fortune Arena, the oldest horse arena in the city. They'll need help boarding up windows and doorways so that the this year's amazing entries aren't harmed. As with any event, pop-up merchants appear along the parade line selling food, drink, and a variety of commemorative tokens.

Masking Up
Dust storms are not unheard of in the desert, but the reduced air quality is still a concern. In response, the government is distribuing breathing masks and is asking for volunteers who are willing to brave current conditions to hand them out. Standard government-issued designs are free, but some wealthy citizens have elected for a more refined design while the cautious opt for total coverage. You'll be given your own mask (in the design of your choice), but the winds will still be a force to contend with. Be sure to travel with a partner for safety.

New Wave, New Age
New Magic is how the Free Cities diverges from reliance on more traditional magic. With New Magic, the Arcana plays a much more limited role. However, New Age thinkers of Libertas have risen with the arrival of the Summoned. They stress that to move to the future, you cannot forget your past. To encourage this reconnection with one's roots, a group of New Age practitioners have set up a table at the Cadens Library. You can take part in designing your own tarot card on pieces of thin metal. The goal is to create a design that speaks to you the most: find inspiration from your connections to the world, from home, or through an important symbol in your life. Special pens will easily burn and engrave any marks you make, so craft carefully.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, is, unfortunately, CLOSED due to recent events.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready to turn in, the barracks are waiting for you. They have a communal bathing room at the end of the hall, with curtains that can be pulled around the individual raised round tubs for privacy. Each barracks room is rather sparse. Six simple beds are set against the wall, three on each side of the room, each with a trunk at the foot of it. You can greet your roommates here, most of whom will be new arrivals, as well.

If you plan on making use of your assigned quarters, you'll have your basic needs met: uniforms, a roof, bland food from the mess hall, and access to the training grounds. You won't be paid unless you formally enlist with the army. The longer you take advantage of the barracks, the greater the pressure to enlist. Some soldiers will start to see you as a freeloader if you refuse to join them yet continue to use their resources. If you're set on not enlisting, you'll eventually have to strike out on your own. The government won't provide for you and handouts are rare. You'll have to work to earn every copper and loaf of bread. Whether that's honest work is up to you, but you will want to start making money. Nearly everything in the Free Cities has a price - including the portal to Aquila. Luckily, the portal to Libertas is free if you want to stretch your legs.

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Welcome to Solvunn

You're in a grassy clearing amid a circle of large stone slabs stacked to look like doorways. In the middle is the same glimmering pool you were just pulled from. An elderly mage stands before an ornate altar. He holds an old leather-bound book in one hand and the other is a card bearing an arcana symbol. "I detect no ill will from the gods," he says. "It seems we've been blessed with success."

Those who gathered all breathe a sigh of relief and now seem pleased. One offers you some clothes of leather and knitted wool that seem to fit you perfectly. A rough-looking man steps forward once you're dressed and motions with his head outside of the stone circle. His speech is informal, his consonants harsh.

"Hold your horses, I can see all those questions coming about! Rowan March, at your service. I'm one of the council members of Solvunn. There's a lot to discuss, but it's best talked about over a hot meal." He leads you to a horse-drawn carriage and helps you up into the back. He talks the entire ride to the center of the Primary Settlement. You're told that the world hangs upon the brink of disaster and that there are those in this world who are happy to see it fall to ruin with their meddling.

You're important. The gods have graced them with your presence. They're delighted you're here.

◎ Surroundings

The Primary Settlement is full of greenery, blessed with the fresh ocean breeze. With spring on the way, the winds remain somewhat chilly and the rains are heavy - not to mention the small twisters forming across the plains and on the ocean. Shops, farms, and homes around you are all modest and unassuming. You get the sense that the people here prefer to blend in with their neighbors than stand out.

As you walk or look around, you'll be greeted warmly, even eagerly...though there's an edge of awestruck nervousness to some. Though the settlement is often quiet and calm, there's still plenty to take in:

• Small twisters assail the settlements. While it isn't strong enough to lift homes or large structures, important shrines, and small animals are still in danger. Try not to go outside unless you have to! Across the sky, lightning surges horizontally, never touching the ground.


• Shops and stalls have closed due to conditions. The strong community means in Solvunn everyone has chosen to pitch in to help each other out, delivering meals when there's a break in the storms, finding lost pets, repairing broken gates, and exchanging essential goods.


• Fishing in the Tertiary Settlement has also ground to a halt. Isar Hart, who sits on the Council, can be seen frequently in the Primary Settlement to gather much-needed supplies for the residents.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the commune, the commune and its settlements have much for you to indulge in.

Shrine Offerings
As a new arrival, you'll be encouraged to perform your first offering. Due to the turbulent weather, Solvunn believes offerings in the tradition of High Magic might quell the Gods' fury. Create a bundle using a combination of fruit, wine, flowers, or an animal you've hunted. It must be picked and put together by your own hand. Once you're ready, you can approach any shrine belonging to a God that speaks to you: is it Cadaevos, who purifies the community and soul? Endrborrin, who brings forth spring and change? Vagn, who oversees one's journey in death? It's a good idea to travel with a partner. While the twisters aren't deadly, they can be dangerous if you're not careful. Perhaps, along the way, you can talk about what the concept of gods and blessings mean to you.

Goatnado
Due to the heavy rains, Solvunn's fine tradition of goat racing has been put on hold so the goats can be kept safe inside their pens. Of course, the goats prefer their free-range lifestyle and are prone to escaping. Help find missing goats or tend to the ones who have been returned to their pens. It may not be as simple as following the sound of bleating and tying them up; reports of small twisters picking up goats and other livestock have been made, sending them far away from their pens and farms and even into the more dangerous wilds or inconveniently on buildings and houses. You'll need to team up and track them down before they can cause any property damage or get hurt themselves.

The Shrieking of the Weeds
Goats and livestock aren't the only victims of the sudden winds. Farmlands and crops also face the brunt of destruction. The twisters travel quickly across Solvunn's low and flat landscape, and the freshly tilled earth is even easier to disturb. As a result, Shrieking Weeds, a staple garden guardian in Solvunn, are being ripped from the ground and sent in whirling, noisy tempests that keep everyone up all night and day. The weeds must be retrieved and will only quiet when planted back into the ground. Luckily, you can easily follow their discordant cries to find them.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, is, unfortunately, CLOSED due to recent events.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready for your bed, you're brought to the center of town and escorted to an apartment above one of the establishments in town. The living conditions are temporary if you'd like them to be: the local families would also be happy to host you in their home. In return, you'll be expected to contribute to their household, taking upon daily chores and repairs. While money has its uses, many establishments and craftsmen are happy to barter with your time or skill for their goods. You'll find your willingness to trade and your friendliness with the natives more valuable than gold.

Goat-drawn wagons can help you get to the other settlements, but you're encouraged to remain in the Primary Settlement. If you insist, though, no one will stop you from leaving. Just be sure you have an invitation to the Secondary Settlement. There are tales of uninvited travelers to the Secondary Settlement disappearing without a trace. The gods are as hungry as they are protective.

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Questions & Answers

If after reading these you're still unsure about anything, or your question wasn't covered, please feel free to hit up our Questions thread below!

How many slots are open?

Please check the Taken page for how many player, franchise, and canon slots are available. Activity Check will be processed before applications open, so the count may change between now and then. Existing players can apply for a second character without restriction.

How do I choose a scenario for my character?

Pick whichever situation appeals to you most. Which territory your character is drawn into has nothing to do with their morality, beliefs, or how highly they regard themselves and their accomplishments. Anyone can be put into any one of the situations.

What happens if my character refuses to comply with the NPCs?

They will be forgiven for their moment of panic or anger if they have one, and leaders will try to calm them and persuade them further. If they put up too much of a fight and/or start actively attacking anyone, they will be warned that everyone is willing to put them back in the well where they came from (see below), and if they continue to fight they will make good on that promise.

My character intends on causing a lot of trouble (destroying parts of the cities, murdering the NPCs, etc.), what would happen to them?

Characters who make too much trouble for the mages and other NPCs would be thrown back into the well (which will mean drowning in the void, not returning home). Brawling with other PCs and causing minor damage is fine and will be greeted with a cranky attitude and intervention from various NPC guards, and there will be plenty of opportunity for destruction and murder later, but for now, the Abraxans have no desire to keep huge liabilities around.

Is the power loss for characters permanent?

No, but it does take a week or so for their powers to be back in full, and certain powers (determined on a case-by-case basis) may require nerfs. If your character has world-breaking powers, please discuss with the mods what modifications may be necessary.

Can my character leave the bounds of the territory?

No, they must remain within the territory except when visiting Nocwich. Review the Travel section on each territory's Setting page for where characters can go within their borders.

Can my character eventually change territories?

Yes, but tensions between the major territories are at an all-time high. Doing so is possible, but will require some plotting with the mods once you're in-game!

How much will my choice of scenario affect my character's plot later on?

This choice will determine where your character initially lives as well as the bias of the information they receive from NPCs (although other PCs can and most likely will give it to them a bit more straight). It will also affect your character's day-to-day life and development. Characters who seek technological advancements or combat will find more of it in the Free Cities. Those interested in court politics, the Singularity, and magic will have the most access in Thorne. Anyone who wishes to uncover the secrets of the Gods and other mysteries will best do so in Solvunn.

This is not to say characters are locked out of other scenarios completely. With effort and the help of friends, anything is possible! Don't get too anxious about your choice. Every character in each scenario can work their way towards many individual goals. Additionally, once in-game, the Horizon, Nocwich, and certain events will let characters make easy cross-border CR.

Are TDM threads mandatory for my application?

No, you may use other samples, but we encourage you to post to the TDM and get a feel for this game and its mechanics. You'll still need to choose one of the three scenarios on your application.

What if I haven't settled on a sign yet?

Your Arcana sign won't have an immediate impact on your character beyond them seeing it on themselves or being told what it is by the locals. You're welcome to disregard those aspects in your prompts or try out different signs.

Can my character go to the Horizon?

For the purposes of the TDM, we suggest against using the Horizon. If you're interested in threading with characters outside your borders on the TDM, you can utilize the Nocwich prompt which will allow all characters to meet in person regardless of arrival scenario. In situations where Nocwich is closed, you can put up prompts for multiple scenarios, though only the one you choose in the application can become canon.

What about making use of the network?

Much like Horizon they would need to be introduced to it by another PC, as no NPCs would be aware of the network or be able to access it. We would advise against using this mechanic for TDM top-levels.

Can I try out more than one arrival scenario on the same TDM?

Yes, although only threads taking place in the arrival scenario you formally choose upon applying can count as canon. However, you're welcome to try out as many as you like on the TDM.

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Comments

goatnado

[mathmetism]

Travis, my brother in off-brand pagan christ. [ jerry rocks up, slaps a hand on travis's blessedly not yet urine soaked shoulder, and pats him there like they're about to start a prayer circle or acapella gospel song. ] You and I both know goats are chaos agents summoned by Satan's left butthole. There's no logic or reason here.

[ tying them up, imprisoning them, luring them with tasty treats or shoelaces. there's only one rule when it comes to goats: wake up and choose violence, every single day. to find a goat, one must think like a goat. he gazes out into the distance, at one of the passing twisters accused of goat-nabbing. ]

We gotta follow those fuckers over the rainbow.

[ like Aladdin inviting Jasmine onto the magic carpet, he extends a hand to Travis with deep, soulful eyes, and a slightly less Disney-rated smolder. ] Do you trust me?

[infiniteban]

[Oh good, this is exactly who he needs.

... Well.

Okay.

Look.

He needs one of the boys in an ideal world, but he can work with Jerry. He can work with Jerry because it just comes second nature. Does that mean Jerry died, too? Did the wild scorpion dog get him too, after it got him? A casualty to Travis getting his black blood sucked out of him?

Doesn't matter. Later problem. The current problem: goats, escaped.

And he absolutely does not trust Jerry Pascal worth a damn, but he just died, so he's going to take his manic hand.] No-pe. But let's do this.

[mathmetism]

I can show you the world.

[ is the solemn whisper travis gets before jerry's making a mad dash towards the goat-abduction twister, hauling travis behind him by the whole ass arm. ]

Oz or bust, Auntie Em, let's fuckin' go!

[ is this likely to work? respected physicists might say 'nah dog', but jerry's composed of 1 part illicit drugs, 2 parts nihilistic optimism and 5 parts can-do attitude. he yeets the both of them directly into the twister, and underneath the howl of violent winds, townspeople might hear an offkey yodeling of shining, shimmering, spleeendid, as... whatever's gonna happen happens. good luck, boys. ]

[infiniteban]

[Oh, they're fucked.

They should be fucked, anyway.

If Travis were human he would definitely, 100%, impossibly fucked.

And Jerry's just--Jerry defies logic on a regular basis. Jerry should've even died when they ganged up to kill 'im over Van. But Fate kept him in tact, on his side. Fate got O'brien in to save him and Jack.

And similarly, Travis believes. Travis's sheer mutant strength will keep him alive in this, but Jerry is ridin' on Fate.

And Travis is now riding on a Goat.

Stomach-punching, breath knocked out, body meeting a goat.] I've got some concerns about the world, Jer! [It's barely heard over the winds. They've got goats. Is he heavy enough to sink this goat down to the ground? Unlikely. Is he trying? I mean sure, yeah, he's trying. Bobbing on down like this is a toy rocket in a mall that they definitely don't have back home.] I just died, I'm not ready to die again! A third time? Oh, man, this is-- [Whatever he's saying is swallowed up by the wind.]

[mathmetism]

[ travis is having some kind of crisis, and that's fine, that's cool, he's in his feels. get it out, buddy, be like elsa and let it go, it's all part of the jerry pascal integrated natural disaster survival training and therapy experiment.

meanwhile, jerry swoops while screaming weee at the top of his lungs.

somehow, magically, against all odds and sense of reason, jerry survives clinging to the back of a goat like tom cruise trying to fly a fighter jet through a hurricane. the twister blows through the village, out into the surrounding fields, and finally dumps them down at the edge of a forest.

jerry sticks the landing by launching off his goat, sailing into travis's side, and using the (maybe) trice dead mutant to cushion his fall. ]

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Totovis.

[ in the distance, a goat baas in agreement. ]

[infiniteban]

[He almost doesn't get Totovis. There's a beat of silence, which could be excused for his body being used as a cushion--and the goat he was on riding away to safety, so a win really. May not want to be contained, but the goats sure likely want to be away from the two of them.

And then it clicks.

Ohhhh.

Toto.

Travis.

Ha!

See, he knows some stuff. (He watched the movie. He likely does not know there is a book.)

He doesn't try to push Jerry off of him.] Yeah man. I kind of got that vibe. Think we can, I don't know, get back? [Do you think he specifically can get back?]

[mathmetism]

[ jerry doesn't bother getting up. travis makes a pretty comfy cushion, and he's busy surveying their surroundings.

lots of trees, debris from the twisters come through, and wool just... everywhere. all over the place. like a knitting store exploded. clearly they were onto something in following the goat wind express out here. ]

I don't know that the twister are on Uber, dude, we might have to hoof it.

[ assuming travis wants to take the same express line back to the village. it probably didn't take them too far, so the walk might not be bad.

the distant baaing continues, and that's what finally gets jerry pushing off his man-chair and going to investigate pasts a gathering of trees, just over a hill. that's where he spots them - a portion of the missing herd, just hanging out. ]

Or we could rope all those lost goats together into a goat sledding team.

[infiniteban]

[Oh. He meant back to the Commune.

Yeah, no, of course, that makes sense. Loads of sense. The here and now. The concrete moment. Honestly seems a bit wild for Jerry but then Jerry is never predictable, so of course Travis is left playing catch-up. Metaphoric and all that. He doesn't think he could catch up with Jerry even if they were using goat sleds.

They probably shouldn't be using goat sleds.] If you can wrangle a bunch of goats here and tame them to properly run for a goat-sledding team, who knows what they'd do to honor your name here. [He sits up, takes a breather, then clambers off the ground with a slightly winded sound, surveying the goats and rubbing at the side of his head in deep, deep thought.]

[mathmetism]

[ hmmmmmmm, there's a long moment of serious contemplation before he settles on a verdict. ]

We'd have to build the sled. I'm not saying my karate chop isn't fierce as frick, but it miiight not be enough to make lumber out of these trees.

[ yes, because that's the problem. a lack of tools, not a lack of wizard level animal husbandry skills needed to train a goat-sledding team in under an hour. either way, they need a plan B to get these fuzzy fuckers back home to the commune safely.

stroking his chin in thought, he glances back to travis quizzically. ]

How're your herding skills?

[infiniteban]

[Look. He's all about the farm-life. Small-town living in the middle of nowhere is going to do that to any of them, except when you have a cult and/or a fancy gas station job.

But.] You gonna pull some rope or nails outta your ass? [Because he'd love to see it.

And it wouldn't be the weirdest thing from his last 24-hours.] Moderate level, I'd think. But I'm being modest. [You're not supposed to tell someone when you think you're being modest, Travis.]

[mathmetism]

[ he frowns, shaking his head in what appears to be genuine dismayed regret. ]

Nah, I left my construction materials in my other ass.

[ alas, the woes of changing purses without proper foresight. or asses, whatever. but lo and behold, he's in the company of a goat whisperer. it might not be as flashy as a goat sled, but herding them back into the village will probably be at least half as appreciated. ]

This is your time, Travis. It's up to you to lead these wayward wooly boys to providence.

[infiniteban]

Yeah, me too, buddy.

[It'd be more funny if Travis knew he wasn't the OG Travis, but he thinks it's a strange commiseration dark humor moment, anyway.

He steps boldly forward ahead of Jerry, shaking out his arms like he's preparing himself for... something. He might be stalling. He feels completely out of place without his camo and rifle. Doesn't know what to do with himself.

He holds up a finger but doesn't turn around.] Now, I'd just like to point out, this would be easier with my girls. [His dogs. His beagle and chihuahua, definitely goat shepherd dog material--though to be fair, their shrill small-dog barks might just be enough to rival the goat's weirder, alien screams.] But you can't stand down. Can't show weakness. [It is 100% likely he would try this no matter the animal involved.] They'll knock you flatter than the twister. We can do this. Just gotta walk 'em with confidence back the way we came.

[Only now he looks back at Jerry because where the fuck is providence.]