abraxasooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #12

Test Drive Meme

Welcome to the Test Drive Meme for Abraxas! This meme is run a little bit differently than most in that you'll be asked to choose one of the three different arrival scenarios below for your character to take. If you have any questions about this mechanic or anything else related to the TDM, please take a look at the questions below or ask one of your own under the Questions header below. For general game questions please still use the FAQ.

Below are some links to information you may find useful. Our Setting pages have information about the world itself as well as current events for each nation, while our Game History page outlines the game's story so far.

Setting | Game History | NPCs | Arcana
You can also find answers to questions asked on previous TDMs in their respective questions threads.

The TDM is forward-dated to when the summonings occur in-game (when applications are accepted), at the start of June.

Summoning

You awaken suspended in the abyss, silent darkness stretching out in all directions. If you try to yell, you'll find that the sound doesn't carry. If you try to move, you'll find it's impossible to tell whether or not you're actually getting anywhere. If you reach for an item you were carrying last time you remember being awake, your hand will only touch bare skin.

You're naked and floating helplessly through the void, and what little air you have in your lungs is running out.

There's a pinprick of light that almost looks like a faraway star but as it grows it becomes clear that it's actually quite close. It's hard to make out any individual objects, as if you're looking from beneath rippling water.

A hand plunges through and you realize water is just what it is. Whether you take hold of the hand or not it will grab you and yank you up through the surface, lifting you out until you're sprawled on solid ground - still unclothed.

Arrival

You'll find yourself summoned to one of the following three major nations: the extravagant and magical Kingdom of Thorne, the bustling and advanced Free Cities, or the tightknit and faith-driven rural community of the Solvunn Commune.

If you had any powers, they feel unusually weak. Attempts to use magic or enhanced strength or powers of any sort fizzle out without any effect, but they don't feel completely gone, either. After a week or so, your abilities will return.

When you gather your bearings at last, you look up into a series of unfamiliar faces...and equally unfamiliar surroundings.

Welcome to Thorne

Set into an indent on a marble slab behind the fountain is a card bearing the image of one of the Arcana. An apprentice mage - the one whose hand lifted you out of the fountain - brushes the water off on their robes and runs back to join a group of three others, who all stare intently at another mage with highly decorated robes and a large, heavy book. The man peers up at you for a moment and starts flipping through the book.

"One moment," he says, not bothering to look up from the tome. He looks tired. "I am Ambrose Rhett, the High Mage of the Kingdom of Thorne. We’ll explain everything in a moment, but for now, please calm down. You’re completely fine."

Regardless of your response, he keeps flipping through the pages, until he stops on one specific passage, stares at it for a moment, and then nods, satisfied. "Excellent." He motions for one of the young apprentice mages over. "Settle our guest in, please. I don't have all day."

The apprentice hurries forward with a fine silk tunic, pants, and some basic sandals. With a wave of their hand, the clothes reshape to fit you perfectly. Once you're dressed, the apprentice leads you into the hallways of Castle Thorne, prattling on about the kingdom, names of royals and nobles, and, of course, the reason why you're here: the world itself is in great peril, and tales of your exploits have reached far and wide across universes. If asked about these exploits, the apprentice will simply smile and shrug. The High Mage was happy to see you and that's good enough.

◎ Surroundings

Castle Thorne is where not only royals and members of the court reside, but includes the surrounding city itself. Now in spring, the weather mild and cool. In the distance, you can see snow-covered mountain peaks that are beginning to melt, and the gardens are in bloom. The castle is enchanted to be at a comfortable temperature.

As you walk or look around, you take in some of what's going on around you:

The North Wing, devoted to housing the Summoned, is tightly guarded against outsiders. As one of the Summoned, you're free to come and go. The guards aren't keeping anyone prisoner. They're there to protect you, and they take their jobs seriously.

Apprentices, kitchen staff, guards - everyone seems to be bustling and busy. Though some tension is in the air when locals discuss recent abductions and an execution involving the gods in Solvunn, there's also a buzz of excitement from the recently concluded Blossom Cake Festival - where a new pastry chef was crowned champion for this year's cake!

Though life in the Castle is beginning to resume as usual, you can sense that a major crisis has only just been resolved, and some of the fallout remains. There are also rumors of strange floating lights appearing on the furthest outskirts of town.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the land, Castle Thorne and its surrounding city have much for you to indulge in.

Cupcake Decorating
Noteworthy participants in the Blossom Cake Festival are given the honor of having their cakes displayed in the castle. You can have a slice of this year's winning creation, filled with delicate notes of lavender, pecans, and vanilla. Also available are an equally impressive chocolate cake feature and a lemon honey cake. The champion pastry chef will be there to give decorating lessons. Why not join someone and pipe some flowers on a cupcake? Even if it doesn't turn out like you hoped, you can eat it afterwards!

Magic Lessons
Regular magic lessons are held by apprentice mages as part of their training, usually involving learning to cast a small spell. These classes are for the natives of Thorne, but you're welcome to join if you wish. The spell they will be teaching is conjuring a modest defensive light shield that can protect against a single magical blow. The spell relies on Academic Magic which involves a few words said correctly. You'll likely need a few lessons to grasp it unless you're well-versed in magic already. In the meantime, the class of fresh-faced students means there's a constant bright explosion of light coming from the practice room as the spells fail. It isn't dangerous, but it can be annoying.

Dewey's Decimals
The main library in the Castle is in chaos. Apprentice Mage Dewey has received approval to implement a new classification system of all publicly available scrolls and tomes. This can cause a huge disruption to studies and projects, so Dewey has been given a deadline of one week to complete his task. If he catches you in the halls, this harried and sleep-deprived mage will ask for generous volunteers to assist with the project. Though he only has gratitude to offer, he assures you that the changes will streamline the research process for centuries to come. You can help move heavy books from one section of the library to the other, take down shelves with the use of a few approved telekinesis spells and capture book worms who are notorious for destroying old papers.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in an eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, opens on the first weekend of every month for a total of 3 days. Shortly after arriving, you'll be given a pendant that allows you to travel to and from the portal. In Castle Thorne, the portal is a short walk around the back of the castle. You can enter Nocwich freely and explore what's available in Oleuni Square and Luna. You won't be able to enter Ikorr nor will you be able to exit into another faction's portals. Once there, you're welcome to meet those from other factions, take in the sights, and - if you've come by some money or a generous soul - even make a few small purchases. Inns are available for a fee if you want to stay overnight. Otherwise, you'll need to return home through the portals each day.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready to rest, you're shown to the North Wing, which has been set up as living quarters for you and your fellow newcomers. There are four people to a room, but each generously-sized bed has opaque curtains that can be drawn around it. You can meet your roommates here and discuss your shared situation (those who were previously brought in may have a great deal of information to tell you).

Although you can leave the castle, you can't leave its surrounding city with the exception of entering Nott via portal in order to assist with rebuilding or visiting Nocwich. Borders are especially well-guarded right now due to the recent attacks. Besides, Castle Thorne gives you everything you need: fine clothes, great food and wine, massive libraries, and all the magic and knowledge you could want. Isn't that plenty? You won't be given money as you're provided for, so if you want to do some personal spending later, you'll have to find a job in the city on your own.

Welcome to the Free Cities

Dry warmth hits you at once as you're set on a hard floor of dull ruddy stone. Men and women in unfamiliar uniforms of brown and red leather stand in a semi-circle around a small pool of water - the very pool you were just pulled from. The water is still now, rimmed in pale gold tiles with odd symbols etched into them. Across it is a raised pedestal with a card bearing an Arcana symbol.

A guard covers you with a simple robe and returns to their place in the semi-circle. Before you stands another woman, dressed in a more elaborate and decorated uniform than the others. A sword rests at her hip. She carries an air of authority as she approaches you with a nod and a warm smile. "Sorry about the circumstances. Take a minute, catch your breath. I'm Prime Minister Marlo Reiner and you're in The Free Cities. That nice lady over there will explain everything to you and get you settled."

A robed mage off to the side approaches to help you up. She brings you out of the cave through a corridor that angles upwards until you emerge in what looks like some kind of storage facility. You'll learn you're in the Cadens Desert Outpost 003, a military base on the outskirts of the major city of Cadens. You're told the world is in delicate and dangerous times, and you're needed to help. You're important and they're very grateful you're here.

◎ Surroundings

While you're currently at the outpost just outside of the city proper, Cadens on the whole is a large bustling city. Temperatures are rising, and the climate is hot and dry, though still pleasant - during the day, at least. At night, they'll cool rapidly. Desert blooms dot the landscape for the spring. Look to the west and you'll see a long stretch of desert wasteland. This is the infamous Badlands. The soldiers don't recommend going out there unprepared - you're likely to face a slow death to the elements or be eaten. Reaching Cadens is possible by wagon, a trip of about 2 hours each way. You're asked to return by sundown for your own safety... but no one will chase after you if you don't.

You'll be given a military style uniform with your Arcana stitched on it where a formal rank would normally be. As you walk or look around, you take in some of what's going on around you:

Libertas shows signs of having suffered a devastating attack, but a large portion of it is rebuilt including a new garden park memorial that commemorates the lives lost. Chatter has shifted from the fire attacks to the abductions and failed experiments, as well as a gruesome execution involving the gods in Solvunn. Scholars and laymen alike can be heard debating the nature of gods and men.

From Cadens to Aquila to Libertas, the streets are guarded. Soldiers patrol all areas, especially those typically occupied by the Summoned. This includes a particular inn and tavern in the heart of Cadens - The Sarstina - where the Summoned like you are often found. It's evident they're here for your protection rather than to prevent you from moving freely. Nevertheless, the atmosphere is cheery, with many innovative inventions and fashion item still on display following the month's festivals celebrating the arts.

Though life in the Free Cities is beginning to resume as usual, you can sense that a major crisis has only just been resolved, and some of the fallout remains. There are also rumors of strange floating lights appearing on the furthest outskirts of town.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the land, the barracks and Cadens have much for you to indulge in.

Training Grounds
Non-lethal training weapons and obstacle courses are set up for anyone to use. The soldiers will be watching, and if you catch their attention they might approach you and encourage you to enlist. You're free to invite other new arrivals to spar, but be sure to keep things friendly and avoid trouble. Discipline is key in the barracks. If you're especially competitive, the soldiers will sometimes hold impromptu obstacle races with informal wagers made. They'll be happy to race against even the most unlikely of opponents, and you'll be judged more on your spirit rather than your skill. If you really impress them, they'll even buy you a drink.

Arts & Science Workshops
Throughout Cadens, those skilled in their craft have set up free workshops, both to market their wares and to encourage creative minds. You can attend a workshop on writing with one of Libertas' famous playwrights, learn how New Magic can be used to useful household devices such as fire-less lamps and iceboxes, and get a brief lesson in the art of color theory to aid you in your future as a painter or clothing designer. Why not join a friend in the workshops? Or make some new ones!

Pimp My Ride
Innovation is the way of the Free Cities, and showing it off is just as important. Every few years wagon enthusiasts will come forward with their customized New Magic-powered wagons in what they call the Wagon Parade. Locals line the main streets of Cadens to view the curious designs as they move from Portam Hall to the Grand Academy. A panel of judges in front of the Academy will vote on that year's best design. The winner receives a certificate and, most importantly, notoriety. There is also a crowd favorite award so attendees are encouraged to write their favorite wagon on a slip of paper. And there are several contenders this year. As with any event, pop-up merchants appear along the parade line selling food, drink, and all sort of small baubles and commemorative tokens.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in an eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, opens on the first weekend of every month for a total of 3 days. Shortly after arriving, you'll be given a pendant that allows you to travel to and from the portal. In Cadens, the portal is a short walk away from the center of the city. You can enter Nocwich freely and explore what's available in Oleuni Square and Luna. You won't be able to enter Ikorr nor will you be able to exit into another faction's portals. Once there, you're welcome to meet those from other factions, take in the sights, and - if you've come by some money or a generous soul - even make a few small purchases. Inns are available for a fee if you want to stay overnight. Otherwise, you'll need to return home through the portals each day.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready to turn in, the barracks are waiting for you. They have a communal bathing room at the end of the hall, with curtains that can be pulled around the individual raised round tubs for privacy. Each barracks room is rather sparse. Six simple beds set against the wall, three on each side of the room, each with a trunk at the foot of it. You can greet your roommates here, most of whom will be new arrivals, as well.

If you plan on making use of your assigned quarters, you'll have your basic needs met: uniforms, a roof, bland food from the mess hall, and access to the training grounds. You won't be paid unless you formally enlist with the army. The longer you take advantage of the barracks, the greater the pressure to enlist. Some soldiers will start to see you as a freeloader if you refuse to join them yet continue to use their resources. If you're set on not enlisting, you can always strike out on your own in Cadens - but you won't be provided for and handouts are rare. You'll have to work to earn every copper and loaf of bread. Whether that's honest work is up to you.

Welcome to Solvunn

You're in a grassy clearing in the midst of a circle of large stone slabs stacked to look like doorways. In the middle is the same glimmering pool you were just pulled from. An elderly mage stands before an ornate altar. He holds an old leather-bound book in one hand and in the other is a card bearing an arcana symbol. "I detect no ill will from the gods," he says. "It seems we've been blessed with success."

Those that had gathered all breathe a sigh of relief and now seem pleased. One offers you some clothes of leather and knitted wool that seem to fit you perfectly. A rough-looking man steps forward once you're dressed and motions with his head outside of the stone circle. His speech is informal, his consonants harsh.

"Hold your horses, I can see all those questions coming about! Rowan March, at your service. I'm one of the council members of Solvunn. There's a lot to discuss, but it's best talked about over a hot meal." He leads you to a horse-drawn carriage and helps you up into the back. He talks the entire ride to the center of the Primary Settlement. You're told that the world hangs upon the brink of disaster and that there are those in this world that are happy to see it fall to ruin with their meddling.

You're important. The gods have graced them with your presence. They're delighted you're here.

◎ Surroundings

The Primary Settlement is full of greenery, blessed with the fresh ocean breeze. Winds are gentle and temperate with the occasional heavy spring rains that soak the farmlands. The scent of wildflowers fills the air. The shops, farms, and homes around you are all modest and unassuming. You get the sense that the people here prefer to blend in with their neighbors than stand out.

As you walk or look around, you'll be greeted warmly, even eagerly...though there's an edge of awestruck nervousness to some. Though the settlement is often quiet and calm, there's still plenty to take in:

Shops and stalls in Solvunn are booming as the celebration of the Spring Equinox is in full swing. Vendors are eager to barter goods and are in the habit of including extra gifts with any purchase or trades made. If you are looking for a good deal, now is the time!

Those in Solvunn are openly discussing the recent execution of former Council member Josselyn Creed. Many believe justice was served and that the gods have set things right. If questioned, they will praise the Summoned for capturing Josselyn and restoring the Old Ways. The ashes of her bones remain on display by an altar in the Primary Settlement - a reminder and a warning not to stray from the flock.

Though life in the Commune is beginning to resume as usual, you can sense that a major crisis has only just been resolved, and some of the fallout remains. There are also rumors of strange floating lights appearing on the furthest outskirts of the settlements.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the commune, the commune and its settlements have much for you to indulge in.

Giant Crop Picnic
Potluck-style feasts are common in the settlement as a way to strengthen the community, but the spring is unique for featuring giant crops. Oversized gourds, melons, and cauliflower are aplenty as the locals display their creations proudly. Considered a blessing from the gods, receiving the boon of a large crop is a great source of luck and pride to Solvunn. As a new arrival, you can take a look at these unique fruits and vegetables - and eat them! - as well as help hang decorations before the picnic. Place flowers, pin ribbons, or lay the tablecloths. The food is simple and hearty, ranging from stews, roasts, fresh bread, and puddings. If you're shy, someone will be there to fill your cups and plates if you won't do so yourself. Eat, drink, and be merry - it's what the gods would want.

Acts of Love
Shrines around the settlements dedicated to Lyfbringr are overflowing with offerings. Flowers and all manner of sweet and bountiful things are the most common. It's also customary this time of year to present gestures of affection with one another in front of his effigies. You may see lovers, neighbors, friends, and even business partners make a show of embracing or shaking hands in hopes that their relationships will blossom like the spring flowers. Newborns of man and beast are also brought to be blessed in his presence. Newcomers are encouraged to set off on the right foot in the Commune by participating in this tradition, and begin their journey into High Magic.

A Weekend of Weddings
Weddings are popular in spring due to Lyfbringr's presence and this year is no different. Declan Gardsbruk and Tiril Blom, a handsome inheritor of the Gardsbruk Farms and a popular local singer, are getting married! While weddings in Solvunn are often a community affair, given the Gardsbruks' involvement with the Summoned, Solvunn's Summoned are explicitly invited as honored guests. Celebrated over several days, family and friends from across every settlement come to town. A bonfire blazes throughout the week. The height of the celebrations is the binding ceremony itself, held on the final day. The couple and their guests will gather by a shrine in the forest. Their union is made official underneath an arch of wood, reeds and seasonal flowers. The party continues until the following sunrise, symbolizing the beginning of a new life and partnership. In addition to attending, you can help weave the ceremonial wedding arch, keep the bonfire going, or simply enjoy the drink and music until you can't remember where you sleep.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in an eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, opens on the first weekend of every month for a total of 3 days. Shortly after arriving, you'll be given a pendant that allows you to travel to and from the portal. In Solvunn, the portal is a short walk away. You can enter Nocwich freely and explore what's available in Oleuni Square and Luna. You won't be able to enter Ikorr nor will you be able to exit into another faction's portals. Once there, you're welcome to meet those from other factions, take in the sights, and - if you've come by some money or a generous soul - even make a few small purchases. Inns are available for a fee if you want to stay overnight. Otherwise, you'll need to return home through the portals each day.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready for your bed, you're brought to the center of town and escorted to an apartment above one of the establishments in town. The living conditions are temporary if you'd like them to be: the local families would also be happy to host you in their home. In return, you'll be expected to contribute to their household, taking upon daily chores and repairs. While money has its uses, many establishments and craftsmen are happy to barter with your time or skill for their goods. You'll find your willingness to trade and your friendliness with the natives more valuable than gold.

You can even leave for the other two settlements if you like, but you're encouraged to remain in the Primary Settlement. Just be sure you have an invitation to the Secondary Settlement. There are tales of travelers visiting the secondary settlement without invitation disappearing without a trace. The gods are as hungry as they are protective.

Questions and Answers

If after reading these you're still unsure about anything, or your question wasn't covered, please feel free to hit up our Questions thread below!

How many slots are open?: Please check the Taken page for how many player, franchise, and canon slots are available. Activity check will be processed before applications open, so the count may change between now and then. Existing players can apply for a second character without restriction.
How do I choose a scenario for my character?: Pick whichever situation appeals to you most. Which faction your character is drawn into has nothing to do with their personal morality, beliefs, or how highly they regard themselves and their own accomplishments. Anyone can be put into any one of the situations.
What happens if my character refuses to comply with the NPCs?: They will be forgiven for their moment of panic or anger if they have one, and the faction leaders will try to calm them and persuade them further. If they put up too much of a fight and/or start actively attacking anyone, they will be warned once that everyone is willing to put them back in the well where they came from (see below), and if they continue to fight they will make good on that promise.
My character intends on causing a lot of trouble (destroying parts of the cities, murdering the NPCs, etc.), what would happen to them?: Characters who make too much trouble for the mages and other NPCs would be thrown back in the well (which will mean drowning in the void, not returning home). Brawling with other PCs and causing minor damage is fine and will be greeted with a cranky attitude and intervention from various NPC guards, and there will be plenty of opportunity for destruction and murder later, but for now the Abraxans have no desire to keep huge liabilities around.
Is the power loss for characters permanent?: No, but it does take a week or so for their powers to be back in full, and certain powers (determined on a case-by-case basis) may require nerfs. If your character has world-breaking powers, please discuss with the mods what modifications may be necessary.
Can my character leave the bounds of the nation?: In Thorne, characters can leave the castle but not the city. In the Free Cities, they can take a trip from the outpost to the nearest main city, Cadens. In Solvunn, they can explore the entirety of the Primary Settlement.
Can my character eventually change nations or kingdoms?: Yes, but tensions between the major nations are at an all-time high. Doing so is possible, but will require some plotting and discussion with the mods once you're in-game!
How much will my choice of scenario affect my character's plot later on?: This choice will determine where your character initially lives as well as the bias of the information they receive from NPCs (although other PCs can and most likely will give it to them a bit more straight). It will also affect your character's day-to-day life and development. Characters who seek technological advancements or combat will find more of it in the Free Cities while those keen on court politics and learning magic will have the most access to it in Thorne. Anyone who wishes to uncover the secrets of the Old Gods and forest mysteries will best do so in Solvunn.

This is not to say characters can't do these things from another faction - with effort and the help of friends, anything is possible! Don't get too anxious about your choice. This is just one of many, and every character in each scenario can work their way towards many individual goals and outcomes. Additionally, once in-game the Horizon will provide characters with a way to easily find cross-faction CR.
Are TDM threads mandatory for my application?: No, you may use other samples, but we encourage you to post to the TDM and get a feel for this game and its mechanics before you join. If you do not have a TDM thread you will still need to choose one of the three scenarios on your application.
What if I haven't settled on a sign yet?: Your Arcana sign won't have an immediate impact on your character beyond them seeing it on themselves or being told what it is by the locals. You're welcome to disregard those aspects in your prompts or try out different signs.
Can my character go to the Horizon?: First time visitors to the Horizon must be taken there by other characters, through either shared meditation or a physical journey to the Singularity, and all first-timers experience memory loss. For the purposes of the TDM, we suggest against using the Horizon.

If you're interested in threading with characters outside your borders on the TDM, you can utilize the Nocwich prompt which will allow all characters to meet in person regardless of arrival scenario.
What about making use of the network?: Much like Horizon they would need to be introduced to it by another PC, as no NPCs would be aware of the network or be able to access it. Because of this, we would advise against using this mechanic for TDM top-levels.
Can I try out more than one arrival scenario on the same TDM?: Yes, although only threads taking place in the arrival scenario you formally choose upon applying can count as canon. However, you're welcome to try out as many as you like on the TDM.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( it was inevitable that the altar of ashes and bones would be checked out, even by max.

all of this had sounded like some story, and that was coming from her standards. it lacked the visceral wrongness of the upside-down, of the writing, twisting landscape and the bleeding-red skies.

it wasn't all nice, the warning laid out for all to see and it still felt like some sort of ritual. wrong in a different sort of way. less world and life ending and more like a medieval threat. which wasn't that far off from the rest of the energy this place had.

she must not be the only one thinking that, though the thoughts coming from a talking raccoon wasn't exactly on her bingo card for this year. yet again, neither was dying to a monster.

between the two, she'd take the raccoon, although the look she gives him does give away the fact that talking animals aren't commonplace to where she's from. as for the visual... ) Ugh — yeah. That would be gross.

You ever smelled sun-baked flesh before? It is nooot good. It'll put you off your breakfast, that's for sure.

[ Has he for that matter? Eh. It's not as important as trying to get a reaction out of his new companion. He does that.

And yeah, he absolutely comprehends that look, which means a snappy comment slips past his snout before he can even think about whether it's something he should be saying or not. ]

Don't see a lot of you small humans around. Where'd you come from?

( she doesn't answer the first question. she doesn't even respond beyond a disgusted twist of her mouth. there might not have been any sun-baked flesh in the upside down and maybe the fact that it didn't stink as foul as it looked like it should was one of the only loose-termed comforts she could speak on.

it's weird how despite all the horrors she and her friends had witnessed over a span of two whole school years, she really honestly hopes she never has to see if what this talking rodent (respectfully) is describing.

for now, one snappy comment only inspires exasperation on her turn, habitual shitty attitude rearing its head like the best (only) defense she got and it's hard to believe the most normal exchange as of yet is happening between a kind of mean fifteen year old and a talking raccoon. ) Wait, you mean there isn't a lot of minors being kidnapped into alternative dimensions? Could've fooled me.

[ Honestly, even that subtle response in her disgusted expression is good enough for him, sating that dumb side of his brain that likes grossing people out or riling them up. The reasons of which would likely make a therapist's dreams come true, but that ain't happening any time soon. Or ever.

But it's probably for the best anyway that the kid never sees something like that, so we'll just move right along. ]

Yeah, it's a damned surprise to me too. [ It's an exchange between a kind of mean fifteen year old, and an asshole of a talking raccoon to be exact. ] You guys are pretty easy targets for whatever ... these higher powers want. And I bet you'd make great cannon fodder.

( here there be rocket, denier of therapist's dreams.

no, it would likely be for the better if max is free from anything else like that. the undulating mass of a beholder and the world's creepiest grinch was enough to last several lifetimes.

but this? this is somehow so much easier. easier to not actually think about the gravity of the situation — or everything uncertain still left in hawkins, or the big, terrible thoughts of how dying actually feels like and instead mouth off to someone with an attitude worse than hers and pretend that this is almost normal.

who knew one asshole trash panda is another shitty teen's treasure. she even rolls her eyes. ) But you seem like you'd get the real air time. It's all in the momentum.

Ha! [ To be offended or to be impressed by this tiny, sassy human? Either way, the laugh that slips past Rocket's mouth is genuine in its suddenness and, frankly, its volume.

And then he doubles down. ] Ain't no way I'm gonna be anyone's meat-cannon. It's like the people here say: I'm important and they're grateful I'm here.

[ For what reason? Who the hell knows, but this is a card he's taking with him into every conversation he has from now on. Oh, he wishes Quill were here — he'd like to rub this in his face too.

(Nevermind that this is probably the exact same spiel every person here gets upon arrival, but. Shh.) ]

( a snort, not quite a smile but her posture isn't as stiff. she shrugs. ) I wonder if they said the same thing about her. ( max had only gotten some half-overheard mention of the name of the woman who was just ashes and bones, and she can't help but look over to the pile at the altar again. she sure as hell didn't know what exactly happened but, judging by the ceremonial outcome? well, she had some questions. )

Or maybe they just needed someone else to herd their goats. ( there was, after all, an overwhelming population. maybe the locals were scared of being overrun.

super doubtful, but it would be nice to think that could be their biggest concern for like, two seconds. )

[ Rocket hums a thoughtful sound, following the kid's gaze back towards the altar of ashes too. ]

I'd hate to be lumped into the same category as ol' Ashes here.

[ Though if these folks really were grateful that they were summoned here, he hopes it's for a better served purpose than being forced into farm culture. Because if so? Hoo boy, are they ever in for a real shock to the system. Rocket's agricultural prowess starts and ends with a big fat nothin'. Just because he helped to raise a sentient tree doesn't mean he's suddenly fit to grow turnips and raise chickens.

Speaking of which — ]

Can't say I'm much of a goat-herder. What about you?

[ she's pretty sure anyone would hate that, but she doesn't remark on it any further. honestly, she isn't sure what's worse — the fact that the display of ashes bothers her, or that it doesn't bother her nearly as much as it should.

guess hawkins has that effect on people.

though she's never come close to raising a sentient tree before — rocket might be a step up from 99.9% of the people here in that regard and maybe he really is the agricultural savior the humble people of solvunn need.

a shake of her head. ]

No, me neither. But — [ a shrug, tilting her head, as though thoughtful. ] — I'm thinking of trying out the whole malicious compliance thing? Plant some mint in the tomato patch, or something.

[ and lastly — she figures it was about time she offered: ] I'm Max, by the way. [ though mostly in hopes of learning if the talking raccoon had a name. ]

Edited 2023-06-05 22:29 (UTC)

[ Well, that's a thought. It also probably means these people are really, really screwed if they're relying on Rocket for anything that involves being ... nurturing.

Groot was an exception. Groot was family. ]

Oh, I like the way you think. [ Rocket chuckles.

Honestly though — take that up a notch and you'll get to the same line of thought that drives Rocket to stealing people's eyeballs and legs for fun. Because it's funny! It is! ]

I'm Rocket. [ So, yeah, the talking raccoon's definitely got a name. ] Well, Max, what do you say we both grow some mint in tomato patches? I was also thinkin' how funny it'd be if we transplanted some of these full-grown radishes in someone's pumpkin patch.

[ He sniggers. ]

No, seriously, imagine them thinking they'd been growing pumpkins this whole time? [ He works himself to full-blown laughter. ] And it's just these dumb radishes instead? Hahahahahaha!

TEST DRIVE MEME #12

solvunn

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somehow, i feel like they could be besties if we gave it a little time

honestly this is my dream 🙏

honestly tho 👀

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sorry for the delay!!

no worries at all! 😌