TEST DRIVE MEME #18

[abraxasmods]

Test Drive Meme

Important Links

Setting ⦁ Game History ⦁ NPCs ⦁ Arcana ⦁ FAQ

Welcome to the Test Drive Meme for Abraxas! This meme is run a little bit differently than most in that you'll be asked to choose one of three different arrival scenarios below for your character to take.

If you have any questions about this mechanic or anything else related to the TDM, please take a look at the questions below or ask one of your own under the Questions header below. You can also find answers to questions asked on previous TDMs in their respective question threads.

The TDM is forward-dated to when the summonings occur in-game (when applications are accepted), at the start of June.

While the world experienced some severe weather damage, the storms are now over. Newly arrived characters will be assured that repairs are underway, though they may help if they wish. Nocwich was closed for the last 3 months, but is now open once more! On the surface, not much has changed, but observant characters might notice some increased tension between the werewolves and the vampires.

Summoning

You awaken suspended in the abyss, silent darkness stretching out in all directions. If you try to yell, you'll find that the sound doesn't carry. If you try to move, you'll find it's impossible to tell whether or not you're getting anywhere. If you reach for an item you were carrying the last time you remember being awake, your hand will only touch bare skin.

You're naked and floating helplessly through the void, and what little air you have in your lungs is running out.

There's a pinprick of light that almost looks like a faraway star but as it grows it becomes clear that it's actually quite close. It's hard to make out any individual objects as if you're looking from beneath rippling water.

A hand plunges through and you realize water is just what it is. Whether you take hold of the hand or not it will grab you and yank you up through the surface, lifting you out until you're sprawled on solid ground - still unclothed.

Arrival

You'll find yourself summoned to one of the following three major territories: the extravagant and magical Kingdom of Thorne, the bustling and advanced Free Cities, or the tightknit and faith-driven rural community of the Solvunn Commune.

If you had any powers, they feel unusually weak. Attempts to use magic or enhanced strength or powers of any sort fizzle out without any effect, but they don't feel completely gone, either. After a week or so, your abilities will return.

When you gather your bearings at last, you look up into a series of unfamiliar faces...and equally unfamiliar surroundings.

Go to scenario

Kingdom of Thorne ⦁ The Free Cities ⦁ Solvunn Commune

Welcome to Thorne

Set into an indent on a marble slab behind the fountain is a card bearing the image of one of the Arcana. An apprentice mage - the one whose hand lifted you out of the fountain - brushes the water off on their robes and runs back to join a group of three others, who all stare intently at another mage with highly decorated robes and a large, heavy book. The man peers up at you for a moment and starts flipping through the book.

"One moment," he says, not bothering to look up from the tome. He looks tired. "I am Ambrose Rhett, the High Mage of the Kingdom of Thorne. We’ll explain everything in a moment, but for now, please calm down. You’re completely fine."

Regardless of your response, he keeps flipping through the pages, until he stops on one specific passage, stares at it for a moment, and then nods, satisfied. "Excellent." He motions for one of the young apprentice mages over. "Settle our guest in, please. I don't have all day."

The apprentice hurries forward with a fine silk tunic, pants, and some basic sandals. With a wave of their hand, the clothes reshape to fit you perfectly. Once you're dressed, the apprentice leads you into the hallways of Castle Thorne, prattling on about the kingdom, names of royals and nobles, and, of course, the reason why you're here: the world itself is in great peril, and tales of your exploits have reached far and wide across universes. If asked about these exploits, the apprentice will simply smile and shrug. The High Mage was happy to see you and that's good enough.

◎ Surroundings

Castle Thorne is where not only royals and members of the court reside but includes the surrounding city itself. With summer around the corner, the weather is warm and marked by a cool breeze. In the distance, the snow has melted from the mountains. Spring flowers are in full bloom in the gardens. The castle is enchanted to be at a comfortable temperature.

As you walk or look around, you take in some of what's going on around you:

• The city of Castle Thorne is largely safe and the main roads are clear, but debris and fallen trees are still a danger if you stray too far towards any off-beaten trails. Nott is especially chaotic. The cleanup and repairs in town are going a little slower than they are in the royal city.


• The North Wing, devoted to housing the Summoned, is tightly guarded against outsiders. As one of the Summoned, you're free to come and go. The guards aren't keeping anyone prisoner. They're there to protect you, and they take their jobs seriously.


• Apprentices, kitchen staff, guards - everyone seems to be bustling. There's some buzz about the arrival of Admiral Rudolph Sidwell, the Queen's uncle. While he was previously in Nott to oversee a project, he's now moved to the city of Castle Thorne with his family: Lady Lia Sidwell and his two young sons. They live in a manor near the castle.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the land, Castle Thorne and its surrounding city have much for you to indulge in.

Cupcake Decorating
Noteworthy participants in the Blossom Cake Festival are given the honor of having their cakes displayed in the castle. You can have a slice of this year's winning creation, filled with rich bold notes of tangy orange and vanilla cream. Also available are an equally impressive lavender cake feature and a lemon honey cake. The champion pastry chef will be there to give decorating lessons. Why not join someone and pipe some flowers on a cupcake? Even if it doesn't turn out like you hoped, you can eat it afterwards!

Magic Lessons
Regular magic lessons are held by apprentice mages as part of their training, usually involving learning to cast a small spell. Join if you wish! The spell they will be teaching is conjuring a modest wind spell that can cast a cooling breeze over you. Perfect for when the weather gets warm! The spell relies on Academic Magic which involves a few words said correctly. You'll likely need a few lessons to grasp it unless you're well-versed in magic already. The class of fresh-faced students means there's a constant gust of wind slamming doors and windows as the spells fail. It isn't dangerous, but it can be annoying.

Painting Session
You're encouraged to explore Thorne's proud naval history in Borrel at its Maritime Fair. Because of the storms, it's being held indoors within heavily strengthened walls. Here, you can join a paint and cider session where you can follow a guided instructor to paint a displayed model of Thorne's famous naval warships. To finish your masterpiece, decorate the frame with Borrel's famous sea glass. The paints and brushes are enchanted to help you along, but it requires a little concentration. Growing frustrated with your progress might cause some splatters or turn the colors muddy. Not to worry! You can always start again with a fresh canvas.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in an eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, opens on the first weekend of every month for a total of 3 days. Shortly after arriving, you'll be given a pendant that allows you to travel to and from the portal. In Castle Thorne, the portal is a short walk around the back of the castle. You can enter Nocwich freely and explore what's available in Oleuni Square and Luna. You won't be able to enter Ikorr nor will you be able to exit into another territory's portals. Once there, you're welcome to meet those from other territories, take in the sights, and - if you've come by some money or a generous soul - even make a few small purchases. Inns are available for a fee if you want to stay overnight. Otherwise, you'll need to return home through the portals each day.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready to rest, you're shown to the North Wing, which has been set up as living quarters for you and your fellow newcomers. There are four people to a room, but each generously sized bed has opaque curtains that can be drawn around it. You can meet your roommates here and discuss your shared situation (those who were previously brought in may have a great deal of information to tell you).

As an important figure to the kingdom, you can't move out of the city of Castle Thorne without permission or take any extended trips. If you're feeling restless, though, day trips to Nott or Borrel via portal are allowed, or you can visit Nocwich. Don't try to sneak away for good - someone will bring you back. Besides, Castle Thorne gives you everything you need: fine clothes, great food and wine, massive libraries, and all the magic and knowledge you could want. Isn't that plenty? You won't be given money as you're provided for, so if you want to do some personal spending later, you'll have to find a job in the city or you can earn some pocket money by doing chores around the Castle.

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Welcome to the Free Cities

Dry warmth hits you at once as you're set on a hard floor of dull ruddy stone. Men and women in unfamiliar uniforms of brown and red leather stand in a semi-circle around a small pool of water - the very pool you were just pulled from. The water is still now, rimmed in pale gold tiles with odd symbols etched into them. Across it is a raised pedestal with a card bearing an Arcana symbol.

A guard covers you with a simple robe and returns to their place in the semi-circle. Before you stands another woman, dressed in a more elaborate and decorated uniform than the others. A sword rests at her hip. She carries an air of authority as she approaches you with a nod and a warm smile. "Sorry about the circumstances. Take a minute, catch your breath. I'm Prime Minister Marlo Reiner and you're in The Free Cities. That nice lady over there will explain everything to you and get you settled."

A robed mage off to the side approaches to help you up. She brings you out of the cave through a corridor that angles upwards until you emerge in what looks like some kind of storage facility. You'll learn you're in the Cadens Desert Outpost 003, a military base on the outskirts of the major city of Cadens. You're told the world is in delicate and dangerous times, and you're needed to help. You're important and they're very grateful you're here.

◎ Surroundings

While you're currently at the outpost just outside of the city proper, Cadens on the whole is a large bustling city. The climate is hot and dry, and growing hotter by the day as summer approaches. Though temperatures dip at night, they don't drop as low as they did in the winter. Look to the west and you'll see a long stretch of desert wasteland. This is the infamous Badlands. The soldiers don't recommend going out there unprepared - you're likely to face a slow death to the elements or be eaten. Reaching Cadens is possible by wagon, a trip of about 2 hours each way. You're asked to return by sundown for your safety... but no one will chase after you if you don't.

You'll be given a military style uniform with your Arcana stitched on it where a formal rank would normally be. As you walk or look around, you take in some of what's going on around you:

• Heavy flooding and powerful sandstorms have damaged structures in the Free Cities. While repairs are underway, some roads are closed and you might have to avoid dangerous debris when traveling. Watch your step!


• Soldiers continue to patrol the streets, keeping order as citizens begin to settle back into their normal lives in the aftermath of the storms. Theft has become a bit of a larger problem, given the damage to some shops and merchant stalls.


• City guards are present around an inn and tavern at the heart of Cadens - The Sarstina - where the Summoned like you are often found. They're here for your protection, not to prevent you from moving freely.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the land, the barracks and Cadens have much for you to indulge in.

Art Workshops
In the continuing spirit of Aquila's Form Over Function festival, where designers show off works that emphasize beauty over utility, free workshops have been set up throughout the Free Cities. These workshops are meant to market wares as well as encourage creative minds. You can attend a workshop on writing with one of Libertas' famous playwrights and get a brief lesson in the art of color theory to aid you in your future as a painter or clothing designer. Why not join a friend in the workshops? Or make some new ones!

Scrappy Salvagers
To help with the cleanup, salvage artist Axn Kade has offered a modest sum to anyone who will bring him scraps of metal. Despite his good intentions, this proposal has unfortunately resulted in small but fierce pockets of fighting over scraps gathered, especially among the vagrants and orphans. Some have even gone into dangerous areas to collect what they can. City guards could desperately use a hand to break up fights and rescue anyone who's gotten trapped under fallen debris.

Traveling Merchants
Word of new arrivals spread quickly to enterprising merchants. Many will arrive with samples of their wares, offering free things to try. These items include miniature pastries, trinkets powered by New Magic similar to those cheap flashing toys one find at a carnival, ales, fresh fruits, and healing elixirs. Not all of the elixirs are of proper quality. Some are akin to snake oil and might have adverse (though harmless) effects - take care not to accidentally turn your hair bright green or similar. All of the merchants will be gathered at a central point in the barracks so they'll be hard to miss. Maybe you can make a friend or two while perusing.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in an eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, opens on the first weekend of every month for a total of 3 days. Shortly after arriving, you'll be given a pendant that allows you to travel to and from the portal. In Castle Thorne, the portal is a short walk around the back of the castle. You can enter Nocwich freely and explore what's available in Oleuni Square and Luna. You won't be able to enter Ikorr nor will you be able to exit into another territory's portals. Once there, you're welcome to meet those from other territories, take in the sights, and - if you've come by some money or a generous soul - even make a few small purchases. Inns are available for a fee if you want to stay overnight. Otherwise, you'll need to return home through the portals each day.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready to turn in, the barracks are waiting for you. They have a communal bathing room at the end of the hall, with curtains that can be pulled around the individual raised round tubs for privacy. Each barracks room is rather sparse. Six simple beds are set against the wall, three on each side of the room, each with a trunk at the foot of it. You can greet your roommates here, most of whom will be new arrivals, as well.

If you plan on making use of your assigned quarters, you'll have your basic needs met: uniforms, a roof, bland food from the mess hall, and access to the training grounds. You won't be paid unless you formally enlist with the army. The longer you take advantage of the barracks, the greater the pressure to enlist. Some soldiers will start to see you as a freeloader if you refuse to join them yet continue to use their resources. If you're set on not enlisting, you'll eventually have to strike out on your own. The government won't provide for you and handouts are rare. You'll have to work to earn every copper and loaf of bread. Whether that's honest work is up to you, but you will want to start making money. Nearly everything in the Free Cities has a price - including the portal to Aquila. Luckily, the portal to Libertas is free if you want to stretch your legs.

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Welcome to Solvunn

You're in a grassy clearing amid a circle of large stone slabs stacked to look like doorways. In the middle is the same glimmering pool you were just pulled from. An elderly mage stands before an ornate altar. He holds an old leather-bound book in one hand and the other is a card bearing an arcana symbol. "I detect no ill will from the gods," he says. "It seems we've been blessed with success."

Those who gathered all breathe a sigh of relief and now seem pleased. One offers you some clothes of leather and knitted wool that seem to fit you perfectly. A rough-looking man steps forward once you're dressed and motions with his head outside of the stone circle. His speech is informal, his consonants harsh.

"Hold your horses, I can see all those questions coming about! Rowan March, at your service. I'm one of the council members of Solvunn. There's a lot to discuss, but it's best talked about over a hot meal." He leads you to a horse-drawn carriage and helps you up into the back. He talks the entire ride to the center of the Primary Settlement. You're told that the world hangs upon the brink of disaster and that there are those in this world who are happy to see it fall to ruin with their meddling.

You're important. The gods have graced them with your presence. They're delighted you're here.

◎ Surroundings

The Primary Settlement is full of greenery, blessed with the fresh ocean breeze. With summer on the way, the light wind is refreshing and the rain is warm when it falls. Shops, farms, and homes around you are all modest and unassuming. You get the sense that the people here prefer to blend in with their neighbors than stand out.

As you walk or look around, you'll be greeted warmly, even eagerly...though there's an edge of awestruck nervousness to some. Though the settlement is often quiet and calm, there's still plenty to take in:

• Heavy flooding and powerful twisters have damaged structures around the settlements. While repairs are underway, some roads are closed and you might have to avoid dangerous debris when traveling. Watch your step!


• Some shops and stalls have yet to reopen. The strong community means in Solvunn everyone has chosen to pitch in to help each other out, delivering meals when there's a break in the storms, finding lost pets, repairing broken gates, and exchanging essential goods.


• Fishing in the Tertiary Settlement is also beginning to return to normal, but many fishing boats need repairs. Isar Hart, who sits on the Council, can be seen frequently in the Primary Settlement to gather much-needed supplies for the residents.

◎ Exploring

Despite the troubles that plague the commune, the commune and its settlements have much for you to indulge in.

Goat Racing
That's right. One of Solvunn's fine traditions is its regular goat races. Meant to be a bit of informal fun, there's a pen of goats where you can choose a goat, get a number, and simply join one of the starting lines. These goats are not trained so the race is less of a race and more pure chaos as the goats do what they please. Whoever eventually wrangles their goat over the finish line wins. The only rule is that you can't pick up or physically pull your goat, but you're free to cajole, lure, or even use a bit of magic to get yours to the finish line first. Winners receive small prizes of cheese, ale, wood charms, woven baskets, and other similar tokens.

Shrine Offerings
As a new arrival, you'll be encouraged to perform your first offering. Solvunn believes offerings in the tradition of High Magic will ensure continued protection from the Gods. Create a bundle using a combination of fruit, wine, flowers, or an animal you've hunted. It must be picked and put together by your own hand. Once you're ready, you can approach any shrine belonging to a God that speaks to you: is it Cadaevos, who purifies the community and soul? Endrborrin, who brings forth spring and change? Vagn, who oversees one's journey in death? It's a good idea to travel with a partner. While the twisters aren't deadly, they can be dangerous if you're not careful. Perhaps, along the way, you can talk about what the concept of gods and blessings mean to you.

Giant Crop Picnic
Potluck-style feasts are common in the settlement as a way to strengthen the community, but the spring is unique for featuring giant crops. Oversized gourds, melons, and cauliflower are aplenty as the locals display their creations proudly. Considered a blessing from the gods, receiving the boon of a large crop is a great source of luck and pride to Solvunn. As a new arrival, you can take a look at these unique fruits and vegetables - and eat them! - as well as help hang decorations before the picnic. Place flowers, pin ribbons, or lay the tablecloths. The food is simple and hearty, ranging from stews, roasts, fresh bread, and puddings. If you're shy, someone will be there to fill your cups and plates if you won't do so yourself. Eat, drink, and be merry - it's what the gods would want.

Nocwich
Nocwich, which is shrouded in an eternal darkness and is home to the werewolves and the vampires, opens on the first weekend of every month for a total of 3 days. Shortly after arriving, you'll be given a pendant that allows you to travel to and from the portal. In Castle Thorne, the portal is a short walk around the back of the castle. You can enter Nocwich freely and explore what's available in Oleuni Square and Luna. You won't be able to enter Ikorr nor will you be able to exit into another territory's portals. Once there, you're welcome to meet those from other territories, take in the sights, and - if you've come by some money or a generous soul - even make a few small purchases. Inns are available for a fee if you want to stay overnight. Otherwise, you'll need to return home through the portals each day.

◎ Settling In

When you're ready for your bed, you're brought to the center of town and escorted to an apartment above one of the establishments in town. The living conditions are temporary if you'd like them to be: the local families would also be happy to host you in their home. In return, you'll be expected to contribute to their household, taking upon daily chores and repairs. While money has its uses, many establishments and craftsmen are happy to barter with your time or skill for their goods. You'll find your willingness to trade and your friendliness with the natives more valuable than gold.

Goat-drawn wagons can help you get to the other settlements, but you're encouraged to remain in the Primary Settlement. If you insist, though, no one will stop you from leaving. Just be sure you have an invitation to the Secondary Settlement. There are tales of uninvited travelers to the Secondary Settlement disappearing without a trace. The gods are as hungry as they are protective.

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Questions & Answers

If after reading these you're still unsure about anything, or your question wasn't covered, please feel free to hit up our Questions thread below!

How many slots are open?

Please check the Taken page for how many player, franchise, and canon slots are available. Activity Check will be processed before applications open, so the count may change between now and then. Existing players can apply for a second character without restriction.

How do I choose a scenario for my character?

Pick whichever situation appeals to you most. Which territory your character is drawn into has nothing to do with their morality, beliefs, or how highly they regard themselves and their accomplishments. Anyone can be put into any one of the situations.

What happens if my character refuses to comply with the NPCs?

They will be forgiven for their moment of panic or anger if they have one, and leaders will try to calm them and persuade them further. If they put up too much of a fight and/or start actively attacking anyone, they will be warned that everyone is willing to put them back in the well where they came from (see below), and if they continue to fight they will make good on that promise.

My character intends on causing a lot of trouble (destroying parts of the cities, murdering the NPCs, etc.), what would happen to them?

Characters who make too much trouble for the mages and other NPCs would be thrown back into the well (which will mean drowning in the void, not returning home). Brawling with other PCs and causing minor damage is fine and will be greeted with a cranky attitude and intervention from various NPC guards, and there will be plenty of opportunity for destruction and murder later, but for now, the Abraxans have no desire to keep huge liabilities around.

Is the power loss for characters permanent?

No, but it does take a week or so for their powers to be back in full, and certain powers (determined on a case-by-case basis) may require nerfs. If your character has world-breaking powers, please discuss with the mods what modifications may be necessary.

Can my character leave the bounds of the territory?

No, they must remain within the territory except when visiting Nocwich. Review the Travel section on each territory's Setting page for where characters can go within their borders.

Can my character eventually change territories?

Yes, but tensions between the major territories are at an all-time high. Doing so is possible, but will require some plotting with the mods once you're in-game!

How much will my choice of scenario affect my character's plot later on?

This choice will determine where your character initially lives as well as the bias of the information they receive from NPCs (although other PCs can and most likely will give it to them a bit more straight). It will also affect your character's day-to-day life and development. Characters who seek technological advancements or combat will find more of it in the Free Cities. Those interested in court politics, the Singularity, and magic will have the most access in Thorne. Anyone who wishes to uncover the secrets of the Gods and other mysteries will best do so in Solvunn.

This is not to say characters are locked out of other scenarios completely. With effort and the help of friends, anything is possible! Don't get too anxious about your choice. Every character in each scenario can work their way towards many individual goals. Additionally, once in-game, the Horizon, Nocwich, and certain events will let characters make easy cross-border CR.

Are TDM threads mandatory for my application?

No, you may use other samples, but we encourage you to post to the TDM and get a feel for this game and its mechanics. You'll still need to choose one of the three scenarios on your application.

What if I haven't settled on a sign yet?

Your Arcana sign won't have an immediate impact on your character beyond them seeing it on themselves or being told what it is by the locals. You're welcome to disregard those aspects in your prompts or try out different signs.

Can my character go to the Horizon?

For the purposes of the TDM, we suggest against using the Horizon. If you're interested in threading with characters outside your borders on the TDM, you can utilize the Nocwich prompt which will allow all characters to meet in person regardless of arrival scenario. In situations where Nocwich is closed, you can put up prompts for multiple scenarios, though only the one you choose in the application can become canon.

What about making use of the network?

Much like Horizon they would need to be introduced to it by another PC, as no NPCs would be aware of the network or be able to access it. We would advise against using this mechanic for TDM top-levels.

Can I try out more than one arrival scenario on the same TDM?

Yes, although only threads taking place in the arrival scenario you formally choose upon applying can count as canon. However, you're welcome to try out as many as you like on the TDM.

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Comments

[shaltnot]

[ As if this day could get anymore confusion, Vash has to go and drop that proverbial bomb on him. Nicholas' eyes widen, brows furrowing tightly together as he leans back. He's half waiting for the punchline that he knows isn't coming, like this is some attempt for Vash to shift his attention away from the first reason Nicholas pulled him out there.

First? Now he's got two things to harangue him about. Shit.

He hates being confused. It's easier to be angry. And, to his benefit, this does make him angry. But angry in a way he doesn't know how to handle. It's not an explosive burst of frustration, but something bubbling and simmering beneath his skin. ]

You're gonna stand there and tell me...

[ He starts, his voice low. ]

...that you didn't just hurl yourself into space like a frickin' kamikaze and you've somehow been here bussin' tables with me before that?

[ His voice gets steadily louder as he goes and he instinctively leans back into Vash's space. ]

You're a lucky bastard if all ya did was hit your head on impact, spikey!!

[boltaction]

[ before wolfwood's voice even beings to pitch towards shouting, vash is already bracing for it, his face scrunched. well. at least their timelines are the same... that means-- ]

What happened? Did you see? When I fell I-- I blacked out and woke up here.

[ the small matter that no, they were not bussing tables together in cadens when they'd been here before gets shelved. it's a detail that can be untangled later.

don't make him beg, wolfwood. ]

Is Meryl okay? Roberto? JuLai?

[shaltnot]

[ It's Nicholas' turn to feel a cold chill down his spine. Vash acknowledges the fall, sure, and he's pretty sure something like that would be hard to forget. (Unless, of course, there's a part of him that doesn't want to remember, which Nicholas can't discount or deny.)

But that he doesn't know what happened after.

Shit.

Nicholas knew that once the explosion happened that the repercussions of that fight was gonna kill Vash if the impact itself didn't. He just never considered that he'd be the one delivering that news--he figured he'd be the one giving Vash hell in the middle of the crater or carrying him out of it.

Not this.

It simmers his anger considerably. His eyes widen a bit which he tries to mask with an uncomfortable swallow and stereotypical snippy comment: ]

Figures you'd ask about everyone else when it was your head on the choppin' block.

[ The bite behind it sounds forced even to his own ears. Nicholas huffs and looks away, hopefully on the pretense that Vash is just being too self-sacrificing as usual. ]

Meryl's fine.

[ He doesn't know. ]

Complained the whole time as usual... You'd've thought she was just pissin' about wrong directions or something.

[ He doesn't know. ]

...

[ He doesn't know. ]

You might wanna take a seat.

[boltaction]

[ the way wolfwood stalls for time inversely relaxes and alarms vash. there's only two reasons why he would: either everything's fine and vash is overreacting, or--

"You might wanna take a seat."

his vision starts to tunnel. his voice is hoarse. ]

Just tell me.

[ his mouth and hands prickle with the onset of numb panic. ]

[shaltnot]

[ Nicholas should be used to being the arbiter of the harsh reality of things, especially to Vash. All his idealism is constantly put to the test, precariously on the ledge of a world that couldn't give less of a shit who lives and dies. The guy never could accept that.

But telling him that he decimated a city in his extreme efforts to save it, at the expense of himself, isn't on the same level as scolding Vash for broken promises. Death may be merciful in many occasions, but this?

Nicholas isn't so nihilistic that he'd say so.

Lots of innocent people died.

History will doubtlessly blame Vash. He's the one with a bounty on his head.

For the first time, Nicholas doesn't want to tell him the cold, hard truth. Doesn't want to see him buckle under its weight and see the world in the same black and white that Nicholas has for so long now.

And...how else would he know? Unless they run into Meryl or, hell, anyone else from No Man's Land conveniently on this rock...but if they did--

--nah, she'd be much better at telling it than him. She'd say it all kind-like because she wants to spare his feelings when he gets down whereas Nicholas' job is to force Vash to confront them.

But she isn't here. It's just Nicholas the Punisher and Vash the Stampede in some random alley of a city he only learned about two days prior on a planet he'd never heard of before.

It's just them.

They only got each other now.

Nicholas knows he'd held the pregnant pause between them for far too long. He also knows he has the tact of a Tomas' ass, but he's gotta do it. Because that's what he does: he punishes people for their sins.

(What sins did Vash commit?) ]

...July got a little roughed up.

[ It comes out awkwardly. Why is he softening the blow? He only does that kind of thing to kids and Vash isn't a child. ]

Not everyone made it.

[boltaction]

[ vash barely registers that his back has hit the outside of the tavern again, harder this time around. ]

Wh... What's that supposed to mean? "A little roughed up?"

[ he hears himself say more than he feels the words leave his mouth.

vash knows how much power he'd held in his hands, the raw energy dissected and reassembled at the atomic level, reshaping the hulking mass of flora his own body had conjured into a cube he could tuck under his arm. small enough to carry out of the city. a temporary solution.

it had melted the skin and muscle from his twin. his twin who could take a slug to the chest and wouldn't even so much as bruise.

he'd done his best to get it clear of the city, of the planet, the atmosphere, but when he'd succumbed to gravity, he'd felt whatever he couldn't eject into space suddenly rush together. collapsing on itself.

he's not ignorant to the science behind supernovas.

bile stings his throat, and his mouth waters the way it usually does right before he's about to vomit. ]

It's gone isn't it? JuLai. It's gone. And I-- I killed them.

[shaltnot]

[ Vash is already stumbling. Nicholas has never seen him spiral before, he doesn't know how deep these wounds will cut into his bones and soul. But he knows how fucking big Vash's heart is and how he tries to make room for every living thing on the whole Goddamn planet for. He knows there's a hole shaped like July tearing open right now.

He's not equipped to deal with this. He's got his own demons. The wry jerk inside of him wants to say that they're just a pair of sinners then because Nicholas has at least a town's full of lives on his rap sheet--but he doesn't.

This isn't the same. He knows it.

He reaches out and grabs Vash's shoulder with one hand, steadying him. ]

I didn't say it was gone.

[ It's gone. He knows it. They both know it. ]

Some people've--

[ God, it sounds pathetic how he tries to sugar coat it. Why is he sugar coating it? It's the reality. July is gone. The whole damn city is a giant hole in the ground. There have got to be people left over in the debris in addition to those that were already evacuating as soon as the whole Vines of God thing started, but Nicholas has no clue how much. He hadn't gotten to start searching before he woke up in that dank pool in the desert.

He can't sugar coat it. But there's a part of him that wants to spare Vash that pain. ]

--shit, blondie, it ain't your fault.

cw: emeto

[boltaction]

[ wolfwood's words drift to him as if through several feet of water. vash just barely manages to unseat wolfwood's hand from his shoulder with a feeble push before he staggers deeper into the alleyway and retches. his half-digested dinner soaks into the packed dirt. he makes an ineffectual effort to try and quickly cover it, stammering apologies to no one in particular, his shoes scuffing a film of sand over the mess. his fault.

he'd killed them. had there even been anything to bury? probably not. his fault.

there's a phantom pain in his flank, right where he'd been shot by the man on the bridge; retribution for the loss of his parents at jeneora rock. his fault.

his fault, his fault, his fault-- ]

Oh, god.

[ he grips at his head and hair, and unless wolfwood tries to stop him, he's just going to start walking with an ambling, clumsy gait, leaving wolfwood behind. anyone else would mistake him for a drunk in the throes of a bender, but they both know he's stone-cold sober. ]

[shaltnot]

[ Nicholas doesn't fight it when Vash knocks his hand away and simply lets it fall to his side. He watches the other man stumble and when he realizes Vash is about to hurl his guts, Nicholas kindly gives him some space and turns away.

Nicholas shoves his hands roughly into his pockets. Shit. There's got to have been a better way to do this. But what? How? In the end, he knows that no matter how the news was delivered, the end result would be the same--Vash would feel responsible. The guy couldn't help but make the happiness and well-being of every person he came across his problem. A whole city's worth? That's likely way more than he's head to weather.

At least Jenora Rock made it. Sort of. He saw the reports--the place was destroyed, people died, but enough made it out. Enough. The fact he doesn't have the right reaction to weighing human lives says way more about Nicholas the Punisher than it does about Vash the Stampede, doesn't it?

Didn't you hand him right off to Millions Knives? Would this have happened if you hadn't?

Before Nicholas can wander down that train of thought, Vash wanders past him in a stupor. ]

--Hey, hold up.

[ He pulls his hands out of his pockets, going for Vash's shoulder again but this time with considerably more force. He tries to grab hold to get him to stop in place. ]

Where'd ya think you're going?

[boltaction]

[ vash is easily manhandled, held in place by wolfwood's grip. he doesn't even need to clutch at him particularly hard; vash doesn't fight him.

his face is so stripped of color that even his usually luminous eyes seem to have dulled. he's as pallid as a fresh corpse. ]

I don't know.

[ he answers honestly, the cadence of his voice flat and lifeless. ]

I don't kn-know.

[ it's hard to determine if it's good or bad that his voice cracks the second time around. would it be better if this tragedy simply hollowed him out? or if it snared on all the soft and vulnerable parts of him like a tangle of barbed wire, mutilating his too-big heart?

suddenly vash hands lock around wolfood's biceps, his fingers, flesh and metal, digging hard into the muscle there. ]

You should go. You-- You should try to get to another city, somehow. It's possible, I think, to get transferred? If something happens again and I can't-- if you're here and you can't get out I'll--

[ his breathing is harsh and uneven, like this theoretical is already unfolding in front of him and there's not a damn thing he can do to effect the outcome.

he's panicking. ]

[shaltnot]

[ There's desperation in Vash's voice and in his grip, but if there's anyone who can take a little extra from Vash the Stampede, it's Nicholas. For a moment he feels like Vash isn't even looking at him, probably off at what he imagines the ruined landscape of July must look like. Hell, Nicholas only got cursory glimpse of it too before he was whisked here.

It wasn't good, that much he's sure of. The full depth of the destruction is yet to be determined.

Vash starts rambling, like he's nearly choking on his own fears and he can't catch up. Nicholas grits his teeth and takes Vash's other shoulder in hand and gives the other man a sharp, heavy shake. ]

Snap outta it, spikey!

[ Another two shakes as he tries to ground Vash in the moment, digging his own fingers in. Vash is tough, Nicholas knows he won't hurt him. Not anymore than Vash is already hurting, anyway. ]

I can handle myself just fine, y'see? And I ain't going anywhere. Just breathe.

[boltaction]

[ being shaken at least stops vash's rambling, his unfocused stare finally finding wolfwood's eyes again. the anxiety radiating from him is thick and miasmic, but wolfwood's dark stare and his solid grip are steadying. they are flotsam in an empty and unsympathetic sea.

"just breathe."

so he does. he's terrible at it, at first, all distraught gasping and near-drowning on his attempts to swallow. it's when he makes wolfwood's own breathing his metronome that he finds his rhythm again. in, and out again. in, and out.

but the panic had been acting as a dam, even if it had been untenable, and through the cracks the grief it had been withholding comes flooding through.

vash makes a wounded noise, his knees buckling, as tears rain from his cornflower eyes. they drip from his chin to pitter-patter on the ground between them. ]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry...

[shaltnot]

[ Nicholas isn't prepared for this. When Vash gets emotional with him, it's usually out of anger for someone else's well-being or Nicholas' own perceived lack of empathy. It isn't so whole and encompassing, like he's imploding in on himself. Just when Vash seems to be calming down, a new dam breaks and Nicholas grits his teeth.

But what else did he expect? He knew that if--when he managed to find Vash in the rubble, he wasn't going to be jumping for joy. Did he think he could slap some sense into him there? Isn't it better he doesn't have to actually see July?

It's just then that the door behind them to the alley opens. Another patron starts to exit but then stops, clearly staring. Nicholas turns a nasty glare over his shoulder and snarls-- ]

What're you lookin' at? Go find a different alley to piss in.

[ There's a short "I wasn't going to--" before door quickly shuts again as the other person slinks back inside, realizing there is no point in arguing.

With a huff, he turns his attention back to Vash. At least being annoyed is a familiar emotion for him, giving Nicholas a little bit of grounding. Vash's weight is off balance as he struggles to keep himself upright, but Nicholas is strong enough for the both of them and tightens his grip. ]

Hey. Look at me.

[boltaction]

[ vash doesn't spare their "interloper" a glance; even though they hadn't done anything wrong, a thread of thankfulness that wolfwood chases them off surfaces briefly before being swallowed by the snarling knot of his emotions.

he listens, lifting his head to look the undertaker in the eye. vash's are already red-rimmed from the salt of his guilt. ]

[shaltnot]

[ It takes a moment, but Vash finally follows his command looks Nicholas in the eye. Unfortunately, Nicholas hadn't exactly planned what he was going to say next, instead just trying to ground Vash in the moment rather than in the catastrophes he's conjuring up in that spikey head of his.

But Nicholas is, if anything, an improviser. So he switches the subject to something more tangible that Vash should be able to answer: ]

Where are you holing up around here?

[boltaction]

[ vash has a few, trembling false starts before he finally answers, his cadence billowing as he fights down sobs. ]

Here. Th-The... um, the Sarstina.

[shaltnot]

[ --Right. Makes sense. The reason he showed up here at all was because this Mag was supposed to be sweet on the Summoned and Nicholas knows he needs an in that isn't tying himself to the military. (Hell to the no on that.) ]

...Then you got two choices: we go for a walk or we get inside.

[ And Vash can have his breakdown away from prying eyes. ]

[boltaction]

[ the silence drags between them, interrupted only by vash's failing attempts to repress his weeping. ]

... Inside.

[ he finally decides. he doesn't want to get wolfwood lost with him just because he yearns to go on some aimless death march. he knows that there's nowhere on this strange planet vash could go that wolfwood would not be hot on his heels, because wolfwood is just as stubborn as he is. ]

[shaltnot]

[ Inside makes sense. Vash can fall apart in his room if he wants, even if the fresh air may do him so good. Well, "fresh" as you can get in a city full of industry. ]

Inside it is, then.

[ He doesn't trust Vash to do it, so Nicholas goes and yanks open the door to head back into the tavern. But he doesn't really know where he's going from there, so he ventures a guess-- ]

Upstairs?

[boltaction]

[ vash wipes at his face and nose until his skin is raw from all his incessant rubbing. he follows wolfwood back inside, keeping his gaze glued to the wooden floor so he doesn't have to meet anyone's prying eyes. ]

Y-Yeah. Staircase next to the bar.

[ he doesn't move, relying on wolfwood to take point. ]

[shaltnot]

[ Luckily for Vash, Nicholas is prepared to do so. He ignores any stray looks that may still wander their way, but carrying a drunk man out of a tavern shouldn't be too big of a deal, right? Vash could just look out of it if you squint.

To the stairs it is. He keeps a hand on Vash's shoulder and leads him up step by step. Once they hit the landing, he has to ask for more directions. ]

Room?

[ Second floor? Third floor? It's an inn, so he's got no clue if the residents have a different area than guests. ]

[boltaction]

[ this time vash takes the lead, climbing a second set of stairs to the third floor. then he takes a right, passing one set of doors before shoving a hand into one of his pockets to fish out a key on a ring; it has a leather strap with the room number 203 pressed into it.

a twist of his wrist unlocks the door, and he leaves it open for wolfwood to follow in after him. inside is not one, but two twin beds, each pressed up against opposite walls of the space. only one has been clearly slept in, the sheets rumpled. between them is a long bedside table with two drawers that likely doubles as a cramped dresser. the entrance of the room is turned into a thin hallway by walls and another door that are sectioned off to the left, likely containing the bathroom. the only light source in the room is a bare bulb dangling from the ceiling with a pull chain.

vash gives it a tug and it clicks, the coil inside popping to life, bathing the room in golden light.

and then he just... stands there, his arm falling heavily to his side. he looks at the half-curtained window with its blacked-out glass, staring at his blurring reflection with stinging eyes. ]

[shaltnot]

[ It's not a bad room, not at all, especially considering the shit places they have both stayed in before. It's clean, it's simple, and it looks ripe for a roommate. Nicholas isn't going to push that question now, asking if he's got someone else bunking up with him. The other bed looks untouched but Vash may just be the only one who doesn't care about making his bed right now.

So Nicholas nudges him over to the messy one since he doesn't seem to know what to do with himself. ]

Take a seat, blondie.

[ If another nudge is necessary, he'll deliver it before shrugging off his own second hand jacket and tossing it unceremoniously on the other bed. Like it's his or something.

He goes into the room he's assuming is a--yep, a bathroom. Hot damn. And with running water? There's a whistle as he lets it trickle over his fingers for a minute before getting back to his resumed role as Vash's babysitter. Grabbing a glass, he fills it up and marches back into the main room, shoving it in front of Vash's face. ]

Drink up.